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Articles

2019 TRIUMPH SPEED TWIN REVIEW – THE PROGRESSION OF EMPIRE

Published on May 13th, 2019 | by Boris

IMAGES BY MARK DADSWELL To my mind, a motorcycle has to be lovely to look at before I would consider showering the salesman with dollars. It doesn’t matter to me what others think about my purchase.... Read More →

Dear George

“Bradl beat you! Hello? Bradl. He’s been drinking beer and marching around in circles singing the Sound Of Music soundtrack for the last year.”

Published on May 8th, 2019 | by Boris

Kakui Yoshishige, Please allow me to share in the joy of our company’s exciting win on Sunday in the Land of the Bleeding Bull With Swords In Its Honourable Neck. I look forward to crying... Read More →

Dear George

Once, the Criminal Redding sent me a woman’s purse he had stolen. The Yellow Puta always sends me his used knee-sliders. On the card he writes: “In case yours do not work, stronzo.”

Published on May 2nd, 2019 | by Boris

Ola, everybody! El Mamba di Repsolo Grande y Glorioso y Poderso y Naranja y Espectacular y Seductor y Fantastico once again walks among you! And Ola to you too, Poo-eegah! You look very brave in... Read More →

Articles

2019 ROYAL ENFIELD 650 CONTINENTAL GT REVIEW – THE SUB-CONTINENT’S FINEST HOUR

Published on April 28th, 2019 | by Boris

I like it very much when a motorcycle company tries. Like, really, really tries when it produces a new model. It means that company cares. I’m starting to think Royal Enfield, the company which produces almost... Read More →

Articles

2019 TRIUMPH SCRAMBLER XE REVIEW – THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

Published on April 25th, 2019 | by Boris

IMAGES AND GILLS BY NICK EDARDS / HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHIC I wish to make a few things clear right up front. Yes, by all means pile the knotted angst-panties over in that old field of... Read More →

Dear George

“The choking started when that rubbish Honda he has given me to ride once again took off its brassiere and put its floppy orange Satu Hati Mati Fatis into the gearboxes.”

Published on April 15th, 2019 | by Boris

Ramon, I am very concerned about Poo-eegah. He has not stopped screaming and crying and kicking for several hours now. I can hear him over the singing of Ricky Martin in my headphones. Gigi was bad... Read More →

Dear George

“This rubbish you make me ride removes the chain from itself like the Marty removes his underpants when his girlfriend sends him her Instagrams.”

Published on April 14th, 2019 | by Boris

Dear Poo-eegah, How long will you spend kicking the walls in the toilet? I have a championship to win, and while I can do that without you, if you break the toilet, then where will Marty... Read More →

Articles

TALES OF THE NIKEN – EPISODE 11 (SUPPLEMENTAL TURBO VERSION PART TWO)

Published on April 9th, 2019 | by Boris

GREAT IMAGES BY NICK EDARDS / HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHIC CRAP IMAGES BY ME In which our hero demonstrates the insurmountable spirit extant in his soul, offers life-advice even where none is asked for, and shows a... Read More →

Articles

TALES OF THE NIKEN – EPISODE 10 (SUPPLEMENTAL TURBO VERSION PART ONE)

Published on April 9th, 2019 | by Boris

GREAT IMAGES BY NICK EDARDS / HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAHIC CRAP IMAGES BY ME In which our hero demonstrates the efficacy of shit-magnetism, forced induction, old friendships, and how important the little things are – like seats... Read More →

Dear George

“On the buttons is written stupid things like “Pit Start”, “Pit Limiter”, “Start Procedure”, “Puta Limiter”, “Start Puta” and “Go Home”, and things in Bushido I cannot even read.”

Published on April 2nd, 2019 | by Boris

Dear Yelling Eskimo, You must be a little bit more calm, yes? Take the lesson from me and see how placido domingo and dignified I am when things do not go as expected. Of course, the... Read More →