Rules of Engagement

Rules… rules… rules. We hate rules and don’t want anything to do with them.

Still, some people need things explained more than others do.

Here is the summarised version of our rules: This is our house. You are guests. Don’t crap on the sofa or we will ask you to leave. We personally wouldn’t crap on your sofa in your house. Apart from that, make yourself at home.

Everything that follows is an elaboration of the above. Feel free to read on, but if you grok the above bit, then you’ll do OK.

Clever banter, fine humour and a sharp wit are good things.

Impassioned argument and/or savage hostility is fine, as long as it is articulate and makes good reading. We love a good flame war. We hate a crap one.

You are most welcome to post anything about pretty well anything.

But please observe the categories and post under the appropriate headings. If you post stuff about politics in the bike gear section, then people will think you’re an idiot incapable of following simple instructions. And you’re not one of them, are you? And don’t put up pictures of naked people or mpegs of people torturing dumb animals. Or cars. We’re a motorcycle forum, goddammit.

Respect the opinions of others, and expect the same in return.

Notice that respect does not necessarily mean “agree with”. Respecting an opinion you disagree with means either being willing to argue about it coherently, or being willing to quietly let it go. The BIKE ME! team disagree on many things, but we handle it like adults. Sulking, pouting, and being huffy are simply embarrassing, and you will be laughed at. And not in a nice way.

Don’t come here for the sole purpose of trying to push an agenda.

By all means express your outrage at anything that annoys you. But much like the pub, we don’t tolerate anyone walking in, making a dramatic statement and then storming off in a huff. We treat such cowardice with contempt.

Don’t threaten people.

It’s against the law. You can argue, question their ancestry or offer to meet your protagonist in the car park, but don’t make direct threats. For example, you can say: “Mate, you’re an idiot and I hope you get cancer of the arse and die in your own waste!” But don’t say: “I’m coming to get you, bastard. I’m gonna kill you/burn down your house/put a hot slug in your face!” See the difference?

Don’t worry about screwing up.

If you did something stupid, and feel so embarrassed you think you can’t ever come back here, then don’t worry about it. There are no grudges here, so pick yourself up, order another beer and sit yourself down again. If you really, really crossed the line, an apology always helps smooth things out.

Don’t claim to be someone you’re not.

People making dubious claims about themselves (claiming to be a MotoGP racer, boys claiming to be girls, etc) and found to be full of shit will be exposed and humiliated, and their details passed on to Australian Taxation Office, the US Department of Homeland Security, Hizbollah and anyone else ugly we can think of.

Consequences of breaking the above.

With most of our rules, it is unlikely there will ever be any formal action taken if you break them (unless you’ve done something illegal). We generally don’t censor people or explicitly try to control their behaviour. We just say what we like and don’t like, and then trust you to decide how to conduct yourself. If you break these rules consistently, then people will most likely start to treat you with contempt, and if you really piss us off one of the admins will probably kill your account or ban your IP address or something.

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