Blogs

Dear George

“The criminal Redding is busily ruining the Keke Challenge. He is so stupid he can’t even Internet Meme…”

Published on August 2nd, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, Was that really necessary? I know we don’t have all that much time left together but sending everyone this picture of you being nude on holidays is very disturbing. I don’t much care why... Read More →

Dear George

“What will the Clinica Mobile now do with all those plastic dwarf collarbones it has bought in bulk to replace the ones you turn into powder every third race?”

Published on July 13th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Dwarf Puta, I have not given you permission to retire. How can you possibly imagine I would? Of course I understand you can no longer be a Repsol and that you must make way for... Read More →

UnbAlanced

BUTTON AVOIDED

Published on July 2nd, 2018 | by Al

“I must warn you”, he said. “It might seem hard to start.”... Read More →

Dear George

“But then I see what you did to the Dinosaurio Amarillo. You brake in front of him and he runs into you BAM! And almost you both die. Ha ha!”

Published on July 2nd, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Old Mumbu, That was a great race, huh? Of course, I make the very good win because I am the fastest, but it was good to see you up at the front for a little... Read More →

Dear George

“In 2021, I shall go to Suzuki for one year and let them taste the salty drops of victory that will drip from my pants-hammer like the tears of the Magdalena…”

Published on June 29th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Dwarf Puta, You have probably heard by now – if noise carries that far down haha! – that I am the new Repsol. And that means you have to get out of that stupid doll... Read More →

Dear George

“Advise the Holy Father in the Vatican that he is not to wait any longer for the Jesus to return. It does not matter anymore. I have returned instead.”

Published on June 18th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, You want to be crawling in here on your scabby knees, your eyes downcast, and your crazy eyebrows all groomed up to the shit. My glory is undeniable! I am like a raging sea... Read More →

UnbAlanced

SERVICEABLE EQUIPMENT DISCARDED

Published on June 18th, 2018 | by Al

“They’re called adventure tyres,” I told him... Read More →

Dear George

“Only Honda has harnessed the power of the Black Box Nova, Gigi! Only Honda understands ichibans and bushidos. You don’t. Because you are not smart like the Honda.”

Published on June 11th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, This is why you’re so very much mierda at what you do. No sooner had the ink dried on my Satu Hati Gati Mat Fati contract than my new friends at Repsol sent me... Read More →

Dear George

“One minute everyone was thinking I was going to become the Petronas and turn my life into a bowl of dog-laksa with that pile of pimples and masturbation called Morbidelli, and instead I am getting married!”

Published on June 7th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, How fancy was my footwork, you tired old bag of eyebrows? How much pasta can you now pound into your leaking asentaderas? I make the zig and then I make the zag! Like a... Read More →

Dear George

“Yes, putas. Yes. Burn that yellow piss-smoke. Burn yourselves, for all I care. Bronze yourselves with your own steaming mierda. Let it dry like muddy armour on your squirming bodies.”

Published on June 4th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, Who is your Spartan Sex-Daddy now, you grey-haired old holster for leaky horse-penises? I am. Go on. Say it. “You’re my Spartan Sex-Daddy, George!” Have it tattooed on your chest next to your heart.... Read More →

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