Blogs

” There is a big Casey shrine in Matthias’s office. He lights lots of candles in there every day and makes the sign of the cross over every one.”

Published on November 9th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear George, Have you had a stroke? Is that what accounts for your inability to smile at people who plan on buying a new Ducati? Yes, I know EICMA is a huge pain in the culo,... Read More →

“Only God forgives! El Spartano di Magnifico y Mamba di Venganza does not forgive!”

Published on November 1st, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, Who is the ring-tailed grass-chewing puta responsible for this mierda?! I demand to know which stinking imbécil, whose mother is clearly a streetwalker in the slums of Madrid and whose father is unknown to... Read More →

Dear George

“Did you not write on his dashboard: ‘Puta, El Spartano di Magnifico is looking for Map 8. Do nothing and keep a respectful distancia.'”?

Published on October 30th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, You suggest Map 8? I’m winning the fucken race, and you suggest Map 8? Are you taking drogas? Are you soft in the cabeza? You better not be necking bottles of vino while I... Read More →

Dear George

“Are you insane? Porca miseria! This entire fucken country is made out of monkeys and rubber trees!”

Published on October 27th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear George, What are you doing? I had to chase a dozen stinking Malay monkey dealers away from the back of the garage this afternoon. Did you really put a sign up at the gate saying... Read More →

Dear George

“When his tripas are hanging down around his knees and drawing flies, he will have a proper reason to look like a homeless lunatic”

Published on October 26th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, Have you found my monkey yet? I’m hearing all sorts of horrible rumours little Ucciccio was murdered by that mad-eyed puta from England when he threw his rubbish Honda at me in Motegi. If... Read More →

Dear George

“I just wanted to tell you your monkey is dead and to say sorry to you for beating your factory Ducati on my 1985 Pantah.”

Published on October 24th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Mr Lorenzo, My name is Karel. You may have seen me from time to time. I sometimes wave at you in Parc Firme, but you never wave back. You once asked me to bring you... Read More →

Dear George

“It is stupid to permit French people to race motorcycles anyway – they have too much poodle-blood in their piss-coloured hearts”

Published on October 17th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, I would have contacted you earlier, but I was too busy celebrating the crash of the Yellow Puta. My face hurts from smiling so much. Did you see it? I did. It happened right... Read More →

Dear George

“He is writing things on the walls about me in His own merda. I think this is a very big problem.”

Published on October 16th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, Cazzo di me morto! Where is His monkey? What is His monkey? Who is Ucciccio? Madre di Dio! I cannot even go back to my hotel room. He has been banging on the door... Read More →

Dear George

“I didn’t want him to get turned into meaty monkey-paste courtesy of HRC and your constant inability to keep a motorcycle upright.”

Published on October 13th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Cal, It’s Gigi. Sorry to bother you, but it appears you killed George’s special Best Luck Racing Monkey, Ucciccio, when you threw your Honda at him in Free Practice One this morning. As you can... Read More →

Dear George

“The monkey looks at me like Ucciccio looks at the Yellow Puta. Such adoración…”

Published on October 12th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, Are you sure this Japania is a country? I’ve been here two days now and I feel like I’m not even on earth anymore. It’s like stupid Portugal, but with electricity. It’s a very... Read More →

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