BIKE ME!

Dear George

“I have told many secrets in this book. The first is that Carlito makes the smells from his breath when he sleeps. It is very unpleasant.”

Published on April 18th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, How is the building of the Super Mamba la Magnífica Sala de Victoria de Firma de Libros pavillion going? You don’t expect me to sign copies of my new book out the back in... Read More →

Dear George

“I shit on your Tintenfisch, George. We had entire aquariums full of fucken Tintenfish delivered to Wolfsburg and every order docket was signed ‘Der Spartaner’.”

Published on April 16th, 2018 | by Boris

Liebe George, So this is Auf Wiedersehen. But since it is unlikely I shall ever sehen you again, it’s better I give you that old Prussian farewell, ‘Scheiße essen und sterben’. I don’t want you to... Read More →

Articles

AUSTRALIAN MOTORCYCLE TRIBES – a brief and entirely inconcise history

Published on April 12th, 2018 | by Boris

I wrote this piece for Sundeep “Sunny” Gajjar, the editor and publisher of xBhp, India’s largest motorcycle platform. It’s a magazine and a website and…well, Sunny himself, I guess. Sunny was producing a 300-page monster issue... Read More →

Dear George

“Japan is not a “bunch of sake-soaked mounds of dirt off the coast of China, populated by dirty shoguns, schoolgirls who sell their underpants on trains, and fat yellow Pikachus”.

Published on April 12th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Gigi-san, Please accept our humble greetings and know we bow to you in the spirit of Bushido like the samurai of old. We are honoured that George-san has contacted us at Suzuki. But we are... Read More →

Articles

2018 BMW K1600B REVIEW – THE IMPERIUM

Published on April 11th, 2018 | by Boris

GOOD IMAGES BY NICK EDARDS/HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHIC BAD IMAGES BY ME I could just as easily have called the K1600B review ‘Warp Speed Butter Lounge’. Sure, it lacks the grandeur of ‘The Imperium’, but other than... Read More →

Dear George

“His crazy finger-crossing father will be neutered, beaten and left to wander the streets of Madrid yelling at garbage bins and tourists.”

Published on April 9th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, Get off the roof of the pit garage. You’re making the local bats nervous and they won’t mate. Don’t make me get a tranquilizer gun and shoot you full of bull-sedatives. I want to... Read More →

Dear George

“We pay Jack in beer, George. He is Australian, so he doesn’t understand money. We offered him Euros but he said he doesn’t need ‘that fucken poofter money to race bikes’.”

Published on April 8th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, My sister Antonia is married to a Serb. His name is Dragan. The family is terrified of him because when he drinks rakija he likes to sing 500-year-old death ballads about killing Italians in... Read More →

Articles

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Published on April 4th, 2018 | by Guest Writer

BikeMe! was recently sent this engaging piece from a bloke who has worked in the motorcycle industry for six years. He still works in the industry which is why he doesn’t want his name on the... Read More →

UnbAlanced

POSITIVE ACCENTUATED

Published on April 2nd, 2018 | by Al

“How’s things in Victopia?” I asked Swifty. “And who’s guarding chez Swifty from African invaders while you’re here?”... Read More →

Dear George

“He said you should ‘not show so much the terror in Turn 3 at Qatar because the foul Arabs beat their camels with joy when they see fear in the infidel’.”

Published on April 1st, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, I’m not convinced we can execute Alex Debón with a firing squad as a going-away present. I know you’ve ordered the guns and the uniforms and even had one of the mechanics knock up a... Read More →