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Articles

2018 BMW K1600B REVIEW – THE IMPERIUM

Published on April 11th, 2018 | by Boris

GOOD IMAGES BY NICK EDARDS/HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHIC BAD IMAGES BY ME I could just as easily have called the K1600B review ‘Warp Speed Butter Lounge’. Sure, it lacks the grandeur of ‘The Imperium’, but other than... Read More →

Dear George

“His crazy finger-crossing father will be neutered, beaten and left to wander the streets of Madrid yelling at garbage bins and tourists.”

Published on April 9th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, Get off the roof of the pit garage. You’re making the local bats nervous and they won’t mate. Don’t make me get a tranquilizer gun and shoot you full of bull-sedatives. I want to... Read More →

Dear George

“We pay Jack in beer, George. He is Australian, so he doesn’t understand money. We offered him Euros but he said he doesn’t need ‘that fucken poofter money to race bikes’.”

Published on April 8th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, My sister Antonia is married to a Serb. His name is Dragan. The family is terrified of him because when he drinks rakija he likes to sing 500-year-old death ballads about killing Italians in... Read More →

Articles

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Published on April 4th, 2018 | by Guest Writer

BikeMe! was recently sent this engaging piece from a bloke who has worked in the motorcycle industry for six years. He still works in the industry which is why he doesn’t want his name on the... Read More →

UnbAlanced

POSITIVE ACCENTUATED

Published on April 2nd, 2018 | by Al

“How’s things in Victopia?” I asked Swifty. “And who’s guarding chez Swifty from African invaders while you’re here?”... Read More →

Dear George

“He said you should ‘not show so much the terror in Turn 3 at Qatar because the foul Arabs beat their camels with joy when they see fear in the infidel’.”

Published on April 1st, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, I’m not convinced we can execute Alex Debón with a firing squad as a going-away present. I know you’ve ordered the guns and the uniforms and even had one of the mechanics knock up a... Read More →

Dear George

“What’s also highly likely is the rat-plagued sewer my wretched life has become since I became your minder here at Ducati, will have more and bigger rats injected into my suffering.”

Published on March 19th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, Stop it. A big yellow camel did not run out onto the track. We do not need to open the Ducati arms cache and set off in high-powered four-wheel drives to hunt down the... Read More →

Dear George

“He understands you’re upset, but he’s convinced Zarco is not “the stupid piss-reeking offspring of German arse-frogs”,”

Published on March 18th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, Dorna has no provision for a trail-by-combat pole position. I can ask, but I really don’t think Zarco is going to come out and fight you for pole position atop a sand dune “while... Read More →

Dear George

“The filthy leg-growing coño de un cerdo! He has already been racing for 1000 years! Is it not enough? Is he not sick of it?”

Published on March 16th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, Has this stupid sand been cleaned properly? It is everywhere, just like my greatness. But unlike my greatness, it is not comfortable when it gets into your eyes. I need you to sort this... Read More →

Dear George

“I will turn my head and wave at you on the grid. Do not smash your helmet into the tank, OK? It will frighten Morbidelli.”

Published on March 13th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, I not see you very much in Losail. I think maybe I see you when Hafizh make the pass on you, but I am not so sure. Was very fast, ha ha! I just... Read More →