BIKE ME!

“How you break that? You fall on your head, yes? Did the falling gravel hit you on the toe? Is a mystery.”

Published on September 25th, 2018 | by Boris

Ciao George! No more football for you, yes? Ha, ha! I am sorry, but I think your broken little dito del pede must hurt very much and you will not make the good disco for a... Read More →

“Have the Yamaha Bushidos sent Lin a sword to cut open his belly with? SSSSSSS-CHAH!”

Published on September 23rd, 2018 | by Boris

“SSSSSSSS-CHAH!” Yellow Puta! The Mamba says to you “SSSSSSSS-CHAH!” The ‘CHAH’ is the spitting of the venom after the hissing. And it is also the laughing. So much laughing. “SSSSSSS-CHAH!” There it goes in your eye!... Read More →

Dear George

“And no, I was not crossing myself. I stopped believing in God a week after you joined the team. That was Gabarrini…”

Published on September 21st, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, I’m not sure I know how to make the Aragon race “sexy as a Mamba in red leather dance-panties”. But I will try. I always try. Ask anyone. I’m still struggling to understand why... Read More →

Articles

FORMA HYPER BOOT REVIEW – Riding, dancing, styling – the job lot

Published on September 14th, 2018 | by Boris

Because I am wrong-wired in so many ways, I spend most of my life in riding gear. Unless I’m going to court or watching the MotoGP on the couch (in which case I’m either wearing a... Read More →

Articles

ASHVAULT BACKPACK REVIEW – Shouldering your burden

Published on September 14th, 2018 | by Boris

I have never been much of a fan of backpacks on bikes – or, more to the point, on the rider of a bike. I’m somewhat old-fashioned like that. The horse carries the gear and I... Read More →

Dear George

“It is like watching the perro loco put the teeth to his own leg before the villagers kill him with rocks so he does not bite their children. Ha ha!”

Published on September 10th, 2018 | by Boris

Ola, Old Mango! I have been watching you try and throw your destruido Ducati off a bridge all night. You are very funny like that. It’s like when my useless brother crash and then all night... Read More →

Dear George

“Davidoso was sitting in a puddle of his own girl-water the whole time we were being interviewed. Each time I would speak, more smelly liquid would gush from his wilted she-parts.”

Published on September 7th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, I hate this stupid San Misanogellorino e della Riviera i Riminininini very much. There is too much of that asqueroso urine colour everywhere. I am surprised the flag-waving pasta putas have not yet constructed... Read More →

Articles

2018 TRIUMPH SPEED TRIPLE RS REVIEW – THE GUV’NOR

Published on August 30th, 2018 | by Boris

PHOTOGRAPHY BY GREG SMITH / Ikap You might know I’m a bit one-eyed about Speed Triples. I have owned four. I have loved them all with a passion. Even when one of them caught fire. When... Read More →

UnbAlanced

FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING

Published on August 28th, 2018 | by Al

I always figured God was a Bridgestone man... Read More →

Dear George

“The stupid Englandian water-gravy that falls from the stupid Englandian curry-sky on the stupid Englandian Silverstone rice-field is like the milk of the Mamba’s mother to the Mamba”

Published on August 27th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, Why did the stupid Englandian cowards build this dam where before was the stupid Silverstone? Last time I raced here there was a track. Yes, it was bumpy and rough, like the colon of... Read More →