Blogs

Dear George

“Jack Miller, who has only ever seen Ducatis on the Internet and calls them “Jewkadeez”, was faster than you on a bike made out of gum-leaves, beer and kookaburra penises.”

Published on February 18th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, We’ve run out of fucken Ducatis for you to ride. You’ve ridden all of yours. You’ve ridden Jack’s. You’ve ridden Danilo’s. You’ve ridden Andrea’s. You’ve even ridden Xavier’s garbage bogcycle. We then dug out... Read More →

Dear George

“Get on a plane and come to Thailand. Do not go to Greenland, Ireland, Swaziland, Disneyland, or Never-Never Land…”

Published on February 13th, 2018 | by Boris

Dear George, Why are you in fucking Iceland? You need to be in Thailand. I just got a call from a man called Thor who lives in Kirkjubæjarklaustur. No, I do not know how to pronounce... Read More →

Dear George

“They sit next to one another like monkeys sharing bananas and they chatter together like Armenian street prostitutes…”

Published on January 31st, 2018 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, Look how the skinny Kangaroo Puta kneels at my mighty Spanish feet. He sits beside that Planeta of Tears who failed to win the title last season (even though I did everything to help... Read More →

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MISTY MOUNTAIN HOP

Published on January 29th, 2018 | by Al

My preferred method of killing rabbits is the .22 WMR round, but Boris chose the BMW K1600 Bagger... Read More →

Dear George

I have Googled his name, but I can find nothing on Troiba Liss. I even looked up Australistan Motorcycle Racing, but all I saw was camels…”

Published on December 14th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, It’s about time you and Matthias came to your senses. I will not be sorry to see that stupid weeping puta of a team-mate of mine go back to making coffee for tourists in... Read More →

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PORTRAIT REJECTED

Published on December 11th, 2017 | by Al

“The Goggleman guys want us to evaluate one of their prescription lens rigs”, he told me.... Read More →

Dear George

“Carlito says I have very good truck-driving hands. He has never seen better. And I think he has seen the hands of many truck drivers”

Published on December 5th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, I hope your Christmas shopping for my gifts is going well. You know how much I love getting presents from you. Please make sure everything you get for me doesn’t clash with anything else... Read More →

Dear George

“I came fourth, which was also much better than coming first because I had to work harder to be fourth on the 2018 Ducati because I did it in less laps.”

Published on November 20th, 2017 | by Boris

Dear Gigi, How much fun was testing!? I love testing. I did very well, I thought and I think you need to give me an A-plus. I read and understood all the messages you sent to... Read More →

Browsing the "Blogs" Category

Dear George

“Jack Miller, who has only ever seen Ducatis on the Internet and calls them “Jewkadeez”, was faster than you on a bike made out of gum-leaves, beer and kookaburra penises.”

Dear George

“Get on a plane and come to Thailand. Do not go to Greenland, Ireland, Swaziland, Disneyland, or Never-Never Land…”

Dear George

“They sit next to one another like monkeys sharing bananas and they chatter together like Armenian street prostitutes…”

UnbAlanced

MISTY MOUNTAIN HOP

Dear George

I have Googled his name, but I can find nothing on Troiba Liss. I even looked up Australistan Motorcycle Racing, but all I saw was camels…”

UnbAlanced

PORTRAIT REJECTED

Dear George

“Carlito says I have very good truck-driving hands. He has never seen better. And I think he has seen the hands of many truck drivers”

Dear George

“I came fourth, which was also much better than coming first because I had to work harder to be fourth on the 2018 Ducati because I did it in less laps.”

Dear George

“Did you tape your visor up when I wasn’t looking, or are you riding with your eyes closed again?”

Dear George

“His heart is made of piss-flavoured mermelada and his ears have always stuck out too far.”