“No, I do not know what that “Rossi-puta’s fucken tyres” are doing outside your pit garage at Phillip Island.”

I would love to tell you what’s in those big boxes, and I’m sure you have the right to know and that right is probably enshrined in some rule book Carmelo has yet to show me, but at this stage all I can tell you is that there’s important racing stuff in them.

Yes, it is probably for the puta Rossi and the treacherous Spanish conjo, Vinales, and as such, it really doesn’t have any business being outside your pit garage.

But Lin Jarvis has a great sense of humour.

You know how I know this? He keeps calling me, laughing hysterically and then he hanging up. He’s a funny guy, huh?

Yours faithfully,

Gigi