Quick & Dirty

Published on June 20th, 2013 | by Boris



Maria has been waiting for you on this beach for seven hours. She has sand in places she is not happy with. She needs to have a shower and she needs a chicken salad. And you’re still fucking around trying to fit a tail tidy to your Gixxer. Good on you.


Stella understands that the house will not clean itself. She has therefore applied herself with a will to the task and would be very pleased and happy if you were to now take her somewhere where they serve icy pink booze with fruit in it. So as not to hold you up, she won’t even get changed.


Janet has been practicing her pillioning skills on a chair. She wants to get it right so you won’t get the shits and smash the back of your helmet into her face.


OK, you left Becky with seven balls on the table, and she took of her pants and did a lap. Now’s the time to cut of her tequila supply and take her home. She’s out of control.


You made Jennifer very happy when you burst into the Ladies shitter at the servo and took her picture. She lives for moments like that. She understands it brings you closer as a couple.


Destiny has spent a lot of time cleaning all the glassware you and your mates have filthied up with your terrifying drinking binges. She wants you to know that it was the best seven hours of her life, apart from the time you took riding in the hailstorm.


Nora is concerned that her bottom has been bruised by the settings on your rear shock. She will be unable to sleep unless you can put her mind at ease about her arse.

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About the Author

is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

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