Quick & Dirty

Published on July 1st, 2013 | by Boris



This is what happens when you date sisters. You have to make choices. Or you have to fit a sidecar. Making choices is probably the better option.


Jane has toughened her bottom by spending long periods of time sitting on railway sleepers in her undies. She is now ready to do the Black Spur on your MV. Or someone’s MV.


After having burned a chunk of her calf-meat on your stupid exhaust, Isabel took your advice and went and stood in a storm drain for an hour. Hopefully, she will not get an infection and die.


“Yes, he wants extra anchovies. And salami. Thin and crispy. Yes, I know it’s nine o’clock in the morning, but he’s got a track day and he needs his energy.”


It’s cute when they dye their hair to match your new Ducati.


You just know that no matter how many jackets Margaret tries on when you take her to the bike shop on Saturday, not one of the fucken things will fit her. You’re still gonna take her to the bike shop, but.


Chloe wanted to go to church. You took her roo-shooting instead. Surely you don’t expect her to be happy about this?

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About the Author

is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

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