Quick & Dirty

Published on May 8th, 2013 | by Boris



Gretel’s car has broken down. She will need a lift home. Best you provide that. And some vodka.


Francesca bought a Ducati. Silly girl. Now she’s going to die by the side of the road like a dog, unless you can save her.


Madison, whose parents named her after a sports arena, is ready to join you on your Sunday jaunt to Pie in the Sky. Where everyone will hate you.


See? Not a trace of poo can be seen on Constance’s panties. You have failed as a rider. She will seek out a faster man now.


You’re late, and this makes Jennifer sad. This means that she will not make sandwiches for you. And this will make you sad. Clearly, punctuality is important.


When you take Mildred for a spin, remind her to put her hair up. Otherwise she’ll get knots in it and spend hours trying to comb them out.

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About the Author

is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

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