“You can’t stay locked in the toilet indefinetivo”

Yes, I know we said we’d make Casey stay at the hotel, but he got bored so he came down to cut some laps. We did tell him to take it easy. I even poured some full-cream milk into his coffee.

No, I don’t know why he said you were riding like a “wanker”. I am not sure what that world means. But he could be comparing you to a great Australian motorcycle champion.

Look on the bright side. The press is now calling you “The Spartan”, which is a name I know you like. It sure is better than Red Mamba, and Hammer and Butter never translates well, even though it is your favourite.

I will have a think about your red-cape proposal. But there’s no way Dorna is going to allow you to walk around the pits in your underpants holding a spear with Rossi’s name written on it.

Now seriously, you have to come out of the toilet. We have a plane to catch. We’re going to Phillip Island next, remember? Yes, the place with the seagulls. It’s alright, relax. They’ve all been chased away.

Gigi