IXON MIKE JEANS REVIEW – GET SOME MIKE FOR YOUR BIKE
IMAGERY BY NICK ‘YOUR ARSE LOOKS BIG IN EVERYTHING’ EDARDS
It seems almost superfluous to be discussing pants with the approach of the MotoGP season. But when your jeans are named ‘Mike’ and they aren’t the hefty sweat-inducing Kevlar-lined numbers, we might just touch upon them briefly, yes?
No, you don’t have to wear them while watching Rossi sail to his tenth title as Dovizioso crawls about the pit garages looking for a job. But you should have them on if you’re going riding. Of course, I am not the boss of you, so you are free to do as you please. I’m just sayin’.
Anyway, these are made from Cordura denim, which is a very strong and abrasion-resistant material from the sorcerous vats of DuPont.
Just like a Victoria’s Secret model but with more hair.
Cordura is actually a type of Rayon and was used originally in the tyres of military vehicles. Then they discovered it could be dyed, and the military no longer needed tyres because it had drones – and here we are today. Cordura, combined with denim is now used to make bikers more svelte and fashionable.
Enter the Mike jeans.
The benefits of single-layer jeans are the comfort. They are far comfier than the thicker Kevlar-lined jobbies. Are they as strong in case of an oopsie? No. But then they won’t leave you with Kevlar burns either.
Look, they are heaps better than normal jeans. Not as mighty as Kevlar-lined units, which in turn aren’t a patch on textile pants, which, for their part, cannot hold a candle to leather. And then there’s cow hide versus kangaroo hide. So you see how this works. Dress appropriately for the ride you’re going on, I guess.
See? Slimming and flattering. Like Bolivian Marching Powder.
The Mike is hugely slimming if you buy them in black or you’re not fat to begin with, the legs are pre-formed (shaped for bike-riding), and they come with CE-approved armour at the hips and the knees – where it is externally accessible. And it’s all a bit stretchy, which adds to the comfort after a big lunch.
There’s a key-loop on the belt and Ixon have thankfully done away with the contrasting orange waist-button and other orange highlights this year, though the stirrups are still there.
You can see me NOT using the stirrups here.
Now I don’t use the stirrups – which are removable press-stud straps you can loop around your boot to stop the jeans riding up your leg. But these are a good length and don’t do that when I ride. The stirrup is a good idea in a slide where your pants may ride up your legs. But I refuse to crash, so I’m not looping anything. Do not loop them around your socks and then put your boots on. That is really uncomfortable.
They do sit well upon a man of my heft, I feel. And while my wife did not immediately ravish me when I put them on, I could tell by the twinkle in her eye when she told me to not be an idiot and fall off or get booked on my ride, that my homecoming could well be joyous.
I owe that all to Mike.
HOW MUCH? $259.95
About the Author
Boris is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.
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