Published on July 13th, 2014 | by Boris


It’s the Third Annual Wot’s Den Show and Shine, that’s what.

Wot is a very large and most accommodating fellow who has a biker clothing-and-stuff shop out in the wilds of far western Sydney.

Minchinbury to be precise.

A place where werewolves and zombies have been known to stalk the night, gunshots have been heard echoing in the grim canyons of the industrial estates and gnawed-upon bodies have been found in the cold light of the morning.

And while it was cold the morning Biffa and I ride to Wot’s Den, we did not see any bodies despite getting a bit lost among all the vast warehouses in that part of the world.

“You were in the Army Survey Corps,” I said to Biffa as I handed him a map my computer had spat out the night before.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “But I made them, I don’t read them.”

But he read it anyway and after backtracking a kay or so, we rolled into the M-centre’s carpark and I docked the BIKE ME! Yamaha Project Bike Grey V-Train in among the other show bikes. Its matte greyness swallowed the light coming off the chrome-lashed Harleys and if you walked a few metres away you could no longer see it.

Job done.

I was very pleased and surprised to see just how big this show has got in this, its third year. There were at least 60 bikes on show, half-a-dozen stalls and a bit of motorcycle royalty wandering about the place in the form of Shawn Giles, Tim Munro and Warren Toombs (whom I didn’t recognise at first because I am old and blinded by suffering).

There were even some hipsters there, which was nice and a few of their bikes were quite snazzy. A few others were rubbish (in terms of aesthetics), but the same can be said for some of the Harleys parked about the place. Still, none of the hipsters who’d got all butt-hurt about a recent article I wrote regarding their advent felt the need to stab me up that morning, so my day was looking bright.

The show raises funds to fight Multiple Sclerosis, an utter cunt of a disease which has claimed a few people I know. It does this via cold coin donations and raffles and thus remains utterly free to attend and to enter your bike. Truly altruistic and worthy of support.

As usual, the carpark provided as much of a bike show as the entries did and there was even a tank there, presumably in case of attack by werewolves or zombies.

All up, a beaut way to spend a cold winter’s day.

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Come at me, chrome.

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Y’all clrealy wanna see what that is parked next to the Yamaha, huh? Aaron, a former motorcycle mechanic (who used to service the MV I had) and is now in the bastard clutches of MS, also wanted a closer look.

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Tis a CX500 – but less plasticky and maggoty.

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See? Yeah, and now you can’t unsee it.

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The Skullster being cleaned by its owner.

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And this is why it is called The Skullster

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Flames and skulls.

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I believe this is Wat’s personal Rocket 3.

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Matte black and a bit twisty.

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Sweet little Ducati.

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Presumably this is Thor astride his Hammer, Mjölnir.

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Patina by Dulux.

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Yes, that is where he keeps his extra petrol.

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It’s a brand. Ironically, “Speed and Power” is a relative concept for many.

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Speed and Power is a relative term here, too.

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Look closely.

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Come get some, werewolves!


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This sounded very meaty.

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Guess it beats taping it to your bike. Maybe…

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Then this came on the back of truck. I pass no judgement. I merely show it to you in the following images…

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Let’s move on, shall we?

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Very mint.

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Like twins, but even twinnier.

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Look, I make art with image, fucken. You can have this as a free wallpaper. You’re welcome.

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This had very nice lines.

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Brilliant airbrushing.

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Blue Steel by Toombsy.

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Slopes beautifully

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New patch club?

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On a postie bike

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This magnificent dinosaur was in the carpark.

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The owner kicked it into life and as he was riding away I congratulated him on his hi-performance aftermarket braking choice. Deadpan, he states: “Yeah, they get a long at a fair clip, you know.”



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About the Author

is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

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