AMCN Twisty Bits

Published on November 11th, 2011 | by Boris


Last issue I pointed out what a disgusting mass of trembling servility we had become over this entire non-issue of speeding. The unelected sub-human filth that decided, off its own bat, that speeding “offenses” must attract the most draconian fines and punishments – punishments which destroy families and careers and which are out of all proportion to the perceived offense – certainly needs to be brought to account via a nice hemp rope and strong tree limb. But that is a different topic for a different day.

I wish to offer a workable and sensible solution to motorists’ issues with this whole speeding bullshit. And make no mistake, it is nothing but bullshit.

How is it not bullshit that I can be jailed for doing 160km/h on a deserted road? Who is being hurt? What outrage is being committed here?

Just because some sexless, socially dysfunctional university graduate trying to get a research grant so he can eat more pizza decides that Australia needs his particular brand of social engineering so one of the world’s lowest road tolls can be portrayed as “carnage” does not mean that doing 140km/h on deserted freeway is a bad thing.

By what reasoning has this action been sold to us as a bad thing? Are we that clueless and complacent?

Why not instead just grow up a little and use some commonsense?

If I kill someone or hurt someone as a result of my actions on the road, then let the law fall upon me with all its weight. I screwed up and I must pay the price for doing so. I am alright about that – as a motorcyclist I am vastly skilled at risk management and immensely motivated not to balls it up. So if all I am doing is going fast and no-one is being hurt as a result of me just going fast, then I am committing no crime. That there exists a law against me doing so is simply and colossally stupid. The law is nonsense and deserves nothing else but to be broken. Surely we can all see that?

Now what would be the result of the implementation of such profound commonsense?

Initially, there would be a spike in the road toll as Darwin’s law of natural selection culled the unskilled, unprepared and complacent from our highways. And that is a good thing. Personally, I enjoy seeing idiots removed from among our ranks.

And then what?

Well, people would suddenly grow up a little bit and realise that the roads are a dangerous place and no place for non-attentive, unskilled imbeciles. It is a sign of great maturity to accept that there is sometimes a price to be paid for going fast. And if you’re not prepared to pay it, then just piss off. You are clearly unsuited mentally or physically to ride. Once we are all clear on that, more and more people would opt for public transport, which would please the idiot government no end, since getting everyone onto buses and trains is its stated goal.

And then the road toll would plummet. And as it falls, the government will realise that having a licensing system based on the accumulation of points is as stupid as the now-defunct speeding laws. The police would still be able to issue fines for things such as riding or driving dangerously, but would have to be able to prove in a court that the offense actually occurred, rather than you having to prove it didn’t, as it is now.

And we, the riding and driving public would come to the realisation that taking personal responsibility for our actions is the sign that we have evolved a little more. If you have to spend 10 years in jail and forfeit all your assets because you got drunk and put your bike into the side of a car, then you’d make damn sure that didn’t happen, right? If you had to do 25 years jail, lost all your assets and had to have “DICKHEAD” tattooed on your forehead because someone was hurt when your pissed stupidity put you into the side of that car, well, I’m good with that. C’est la guerre.

But if I’m doing 120km/h and charging through the twisties of the Black Spur or the Old Pacific Highway with my war face on and my mind as sharp and focused as a laser beam, then just leave me the hell alone.

That there now exists an automatic presumption that such an action is in and of itself stupid or dangerous, is simply disgraceful. And a sad and damning indictment on what we, as a country and a people, have become.

What is truly stupid and dangerous is the speed propaganda that is being fed to us via the RTA, VicRoads and the police. What is also truly stupid and dangerous is the servile complacency with which we accept this propaganda.

The only question that remains is when are we going to come to our senses and say “Enough!”?


About the Author

is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

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