Published on June 27th, 2014 | by Boris


From July 1, 2014, the common sense of the electorate will hopefully prevail and active members, or associates, of crazy political parties organisations (including the Liberal National Party) will be prohibited from shitting in peoples’ hats.

The Queensland Police Swine (QPS) has introduced a process where people can disassociate from a Crazed State Government (CSG).

Those wishing to disassociate and show they no longer have links to a CSG should complete a Disassociation Declaration, a Statutory Declaration, or poo in a bag and send it Parliament House..

The Disassociation Declaration is located at

The Statutory Declaration is located at

The completed form, and associated documents, should then be either emailed to, posted to QPS State Intelligence, GPO Box 1440, Brisbane Q 4001 or handed in at any police station or Macdonalds restaurant.

Once received by QPS, the completed declaration of disassociation will be noted and taken straight to the shitter, or pinned on the fridge if the QPS has cause to assess your status as a participant in a crazy government as required by law or otherwise.

For more information, please refer to the following FAQ:

Frequently Asked Questions

What type of information do I have to supply to get approved for disassociation?

All sorts. But tell us why you think your premier is crazier than a crack whore. But we also want passwords, bank account details, credit card numbers, your girl’s bra-size, if she does it in the pooer, what your dog likes to eat – the lot.

How long will it take for my application to be assessed?

Gee, could be a while. But once we empty your bank account, we should be done. Otherwise, we’ll just pass it around the place and laugh at how dumb you are.

Do I have to complete this application?

Oh, yes. Absolutely. No question.

What if it has been longer than 14 days and I have not responded to the letter can I apply for disassociation?

We shall decide that you’re a twat and come and lock you up after Tasering your dog.

How will I be advised of the outcome?

You will notice a distinct lack of Tasering.

Can I appeal the decision?

Don’t be stupid. You’ve already voted the idiots in, so we know how dumb you are. Don’t make it worse by asking stupid questions like that.

What will happen with the information I provide?

We’ll bung it up on the Internet for everyone to access.

Do I have to have a lawyer review my application?

Lawyers are all criminals, so you’d be advised not to have anything to do with them.

How long does this disassociation last for?

Until we decide it doesn’t.

Do I have to tell my employer?

You won’t have one to tell once we get this form.

If I am successful in my disassociation does this mean I will definitely get my license renewed?

Sure. Probably. Who fucken knows, but?

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About the Author

is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

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