UnbAlanced

Published on August 17th, 2024 | by Al

THE LAW WON

They serve fantastic breakfasts in the Hotel Linner. The breakfast room opens at 06:30, and it’s high protein. Because of this, you generally don’t need lunch. So I ate several types of ham and some eggs and sausage and two types of cheese and some bacon and a croissant with Bavarian butter on it. Then I had another croissant with Frischkäse (new cheese curds) and a couple of cups of coffee; because I had a busy day planned and I would not be stopping for lunch.

I took a train into Munich and walked to the Deutsches Museum. It’s technology museum, so I spent a couple of hours there looking at engines and transmissions and bridge designs and aircraft and model railways and stuff.

If you’re on a good thing…

It’s a fabulous place. I could spend a week there. There was a cutaway BMW S1000 engine, and a trio of Messerschmidts: a Bf109, an Me 262 and an Me 163. There was an F104 Starfighter, and an Agusta helicopter. There was a working Foucault pendulum – the device which proved the rotation of the earth in the 1850s.

First jet fighter

First rocket fighter

Witwenmacher: “Widowmaker”.

I walked down to the Marienplatz. I took a photo of the statue of the cherub fighting the basilisk and sent it to the girlchild to remind her how lucky she is. I am the one who gets her serpent Monty out of his cage when it’s cleaning time or when he has to go into E.T. (the extra terrarium) to eat.

Snake wrangling level: Meister

I soaked up some gothic architecture, and, stopping only for a refreshing half litre of Weissbier (€3.90), took a taxi to BMW World. The taxi driver said BMW World was okay, but it was all their new stuff, and the BMW Museum nearby was far more interesting.

He was right. I spent an hour or so walking around and photographing their old roadsters and GP bikes and their classic models like the R90S, and ignoring the cars.

How it all started

“And we’ve put a little pillow on the tank for you to lie down on”.

The first AMA Championship Superbike winner

I took another cab to the Staatliches Ägypten Kunstmuseum. (Settle down, lads; Kunst is the German word for art.) I spent another hour or so looking at the Egyptology collection of the late Bavarian king Ludwig II, which is spectacular.

“Might I remind you, Mr. Spade, that you may have the falcon, but we certainly have you.”

“Nice ti.. oh God! She’s got the head of a lion!”

Then I took a train back to Erding.

There are no gates or turnstiles at German railway stations, but there are random checks. After I’d been on the train about fifteen minutes a pair of ticket inspectors came through and asked for my ticket. I gave it to one of them and he said it was worthless because it hadn’t been validated. Apparently after you buy it you have to insert it in the blue box at the station. The blue box stamps the date and time on it so you don’t buy a ticket and use it forever. There are no signs or markings or instructions on the blue box.

I said it had the time I bought it on the ticket and it was twenty minutes ago and he said yes, but I could use it again tomorrow; so he politely fined me 65 euros and called me sir and told me to have a nice day.

It had been a pretty good day up to then, but I didn’t care that much. Tomorrow I was going to pick up a KTM 990.

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About the Author

Al does a bit of everything, and likes hanging around with Boris, because there are generally motorcycles and whiskey, and because hilarity generally ensues. He wastes his spare time not moderating the BIKE ME! forums, where he posts occasionally and is regarded as unfair, unbalanced and unmedicated. Shows how much THEY know.



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