SNOWY’S STANZAS 1
ON THE HUME HIGHWAY
Ha!
NSW Highway Patrol – 0
Me – 1
Silverwater to south side of Canberra in two hours and 30 mins exactamundo.
Double demerit that, fuckers.
The Hume Highway Hustle. If it’s legal, you’re doin’ it wrong.
ON WELDING
Guess what, trendsetters? Did you know that even if you disconnect both battery leads and earth as close as you can to the weld, welding on a BMW will cook your ABS controller CANBUS unit and cost $2400 to fix?
I didn’t know that until today. Now I am sad.
ON KILLING
I haven’t killed anything for days. Then it was mostly snakes.
ON TIMING
Zero degrees here last night.
Same tonight, I’d wager.
I picked a bad time of year to remove the fairing.
ON FRIENDSHIP
I got ya back, bro.
Who are we knifing?
Nah. doesn’t matter. I’ll get the Gerber.
ON TWO-STROKE TRAIL BIKES
When I rode the KTM 300 at Kowan Forest, I came back a couple of hours later, with no knobs left on the rear tyre, totally exhausted, and unable to move without pain. But according to onlookers I had a smile that went ear to ear.
100kg, 300cc of screaming two-stroke, dodging through the trees like a rocket-propelled mountain bike.
100kph, flying past the youngsters on their four-strokes, sideways, while cackling like a maniac.
I musta stood outside the vendor’s tent for an hour staring at a brand new 300cc two-stroke. My cousin kept walking past saying “Don’t do it, ya wife’ll kill ya, cuz”.
I was willing to take that chance. Hell, I’d hand her the knife and dare her if I could have one.
About the Author
Snowy is a long-time BIKE ME! member and former soldier, who relishes taking his motorcycle into the high-altitude wilderness near his home in the hope that he will be forced to fight for his life with a sharpened rock against all the predators that will come for him in the night. He refuses to write for us, so we’re just going to put up bits of his ageless wisdom for the benefit of all mankind
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