Just So You Know

Published on March 11th, 2015 | by Boris


Finally, the Road Gods have answered the prayers of their suffering acolytes.

I have lost count of the times when I have stared in blank despair at a charge-compromised motorcycle and wished some bastard somewhere would invent a thing that could jump-start it. Then I went and stole a truck battery, or made my hungover mates push me up and down deserted streets until they died or the bike started.

SSC05 Hi Res

This is the SSC05 – the 500Amp zapping beast.

Relax, brothers. Thou shalt have to push me no more, for Kenma (hallowed be its name) has caused the SJS Smart Start Charger to be available and to be portable enough for you to carry down the front of your pants or in your girlfriend’s handbag.

There are three types available – a 400Amp ($109), a 500Amp ($139) and 600Amp ($199) which will jump-start a truck. They froth with Lithium Polymer technology, just like spaceships and come with USB cables and interface adaptors. They can also be used to charge Smartphones, GoPros and quite possibly even torture terrorists for information while you baptise them with electrical freedom.

They are available at any good motorcycle dealer, and if they’re not tell him to get them and sell them to you. Then put the clamps on his man-boobs and make him whine.

Oh, and no, the phone is not included.

SSC01 Hi-res

This is the SSC01 – it comes in a sexy pouch you can wear as a shoulder bag if you’re like that. They all come with sexy pouches, actually.

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About the Author

is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

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