MAN INK. DOWN LADIES, DOWN…
So the time has come for you to get tattooed. Like a man. Not like some feckless, mincing pastry-maker.
Or perhaps you wish to add some ink to your already extensive collection.
And who can blame you. Tattoos and motorcycles go together like politicians and corruption. They are made for each other.
Happily, we have been able to assemble a most manly selection of skin-ink, suitable for only the most manly of men. If your lady is weak, then please don’t show her any of these. And no, it’s not gay to acknowledge that some bastards have great abs.
Black-and-white is always ruggedly beast-like. Also, verses of the Bible inked into your shoulder are very frightening.
My good mate, Greg Leech, had this done in Melbourne. It’s quite outstanding. And yes, he does own one.
Crazy Asian death-markings never fail to inspire awe in your enemies. Axes are good like that, too.
This is the only kind of big, red cock a man ever needs on his neck.
Full-neck skulls take a bit of time to heal, and I would advise against the location of the piercing. Plays havoc with your bottom teeth when it all goes to shit in the pub.
Just remember, these are nowhere near as good as the real thing.
Script is always problematical. It helps if you a) Do not have bitch-tits, and b) If you get the spelling right.
Go big. Or go home.
Never mind the pain, which will make you cry. Think of the awesome.
Of course, the biggest blank canvas on your body is your back. Choose wisely and well.
These blokes did.
When you’re done back there, roll over and let him do the front part.
And hands really aren’t off limits any more.
Love your Haybusa properly.
Remember to love Walter Sobchak, too.
And remember, tattoos always look better when they’re inked into blade steak rather than Wagyu. Right, ladies?
About the Author
Boris is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously.
He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.