I incurred the Wrath of the Sisterhood that week.<\/p>\n
On my way out of the lawyers\u2019 offices, I was invited to have coffee and cake to celebrate one of the girls\u2019 upcoming marriage. Everyone said \u201cbest wishes\u201d and \u201cyou\u2019re so lucky\u201d and similar insincere meaningless prattle. I said \u201cyou\u2019re insane\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d asked the betrothed.<\/p>\n
\u201cMarriage has been meaningless since no-fault divorce came in\u201d, I told her. \u201cIf you really want to prove that you love each other and will be true, why don\u2019t you put your money where your mouth is? Draw up a contract with what you expect from each other and the penalties for non-compliance, and both sign it. Like businessmen do, when there\u2019s something important at stake.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, I know\u201d, she said.\u201d I just wanted to dress up and feel like a princess for a day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cImagine\u201d, I told her, \u201cthat a man had said something like that. \u2018I want to dress up and feel like a prince for a day. I will be attending on a horse. Probably a white one. I will be wearing doublet and hose, and carrying a sword.\u2019 You\u2019d tell him he was insane. The last thing you would do would be marry the moron. You would be concerned that your kids would turn out as retarded.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t be horrible\u201d, she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t be insane\u201d, I said.<\/p>\n
Fortunately, the next day was Saturday, and I could do sane things, like riding a motorcycle fast and accurately on a winding road. I had to go a few hundred kilometres out of town to do this, as I needed to do it at a speed which would attract the attention of the stapo if they were around.<\/p>\n
On the way out I noticed a billboard with a still image from a TV ad on it. I remembered the ad. It was sponsored by the Roads and Traffic Authority. Someone drives past a woman at a speed she disapproves of, so she waves her pinky finger at him, mocking the size of his genitalia, apparently. It was curious, I thought. Her behaviour is apparently okay. The state government wants us to make fun of the sexual characteristics of people whose driving methods we disapprove of.<\/p>\n
This stuck in my mind for some hours, until I stopped for lunch at a pub in a country town. I was walking past a generous parking spot one car ahead of where I parked my bike, and a woman was trying to fit a Toyota LandCruiser into it. She made a hash of it. She left a bit of paint on a tree trunk, and finally stopped with one wheel up on the kerb.<\/p>\n
My behaviour on the way to this town would have disappointed the Roads and Traffic Authority. I decided I would atone for my sins by doing something which pleased them.<\/p>\n
\u201cNice work, tissue tits\u201d, I said.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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