![\"\"](\"http:\/\/bikeme.tv\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/27629168_778559255670076_698482652478662300_o.jpg\")
Don’t worry. We shall remove the yellow arrow before the racing starts.<\/p><\/div>\n
That\u2019s what we told the press. It doesn\u2019t do that at all, so don\u2019t worry. What it does do is polarise the telemetry, which is what you asked for at the end of last season.<\/p>\n
\u201cPolarise my telemetry, ramera repugnante!\u201d you yelled just after you punched Dovi in the face after he won his second race. I remember it well. Dovi needed icepacks and to be held all the way home on the plane. I don\u2019t think he\u2019s ever been called a disgusting whore before.<\/p>\n
I have also included a picture of your bike this year versus the bike Rossi\u2026oops, the Yellow Puta rode in 2011, so you can see just how much we\u2019ve changed it.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/bikeme.tv\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/27655535_2019139698374059_2262094765587185460_n.jpg\")
Yours is the bottom one, George.<\/p><\/div>\n
First, we rubbed off all the yellow paint because you said it gave you leprosy.<\/p>\n
Then we made your rear-wheel bouncy hold-brace (see, I told you we won\u2019t call it a swingarm anymore) sit more flat. The Yellow Puta\u2019s pointed more down, but you wanted yours to be more\u2026um, \u201cencouraging\u201d I think you said. You then added you didn\u2019t want it to remind you of Dovi\u2019s face because it pointed down like his miserable but sensuous mouth.<\/p>\n
We also made the rear mudguard shorter so your pedazos de mierda enemies would be blinded by sprays of Holy Mamba Champion Water during a wet race when you\u2019re in front of them. That hasn\u2019t happened yet, but just so you know it can happen when you\u2019re ready.<\/p>\n
We added some airholes in the tank where you like your Japanese sex-octopus to sit during the race, and I made sure they looked exactly like the \u201cBlood-gills of the Spartan shark!\u201d as you requested.<\/p>\n
And as you can see, we have also made the fairing look like \u201cThe beak of an eagle which is tearing the piss-yellow dog-flesh of the putas!\u201d as you described it to me.<\/p>\n
The seat is also new. Even newer than it was last year. It can be adjusted in increments of micro-millimeters for a whole metre in sixteen different axial planes. We have also allowed for tilt adjustment and can have the seat-covering changed according to how it needs to feel on your arse on any given day, at any given racetrack. The materials available range from sponge, to velour, to silk, to PVC, to Nutella, to mamba leather, to that disturbing pink stuff you found on the Internet which is apparently made from the tongues of whales.<\/p>\n
You will also notice we made more space available between the front wheel and the fairing on this year\u2019s bike. You mentioned you might want me to fit highway pegs on tracks which have very long straights this year. And I listen to everything you say.<\/p>\n
But I need you to get to Thailand a soon as possible and try all this new stuff out on a track no-one\u2019s ever raced on before.<\/p>\n
This is a big deal, George. A good time here will send a message to the other racers that you\u2019re not to be trifled with this season.<\/p>\n
And I need you to put in lots of laps. No, three laps is not lots of laps. Neither is five, OK? Just go out and go around and around until you run out of petrol.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s no point putting up pit-boards or sending messages to your dashboard, is there?<\/p>\n
Work with me on this, George. Please don\u2019t make this season any longer than it has to be.<\/p>\n
Best regards,<\/p>\n
Gigi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear George, Why are you in fucking Iceland? You need to be in Thailand. I just got a call from a man called Thor who lives in Kirkjub\u00e6jarklaustur. No, I do not know how to pronounce it. He sounded like he was drowning a small dog in a big bucket when he said it. He [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":584163,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[252],"tags":[253],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584145"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=584145"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584145\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":584229,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/584145\/revisions\/584229"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/584163"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=584145"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=584145"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=584145"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}