{"id":583184,"date":"2018-02-06T14:02:15","date_gmt":"2018-02-06T04:02:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bikeme.tv\/?p=583184"},"modified":"2018-02-06T14:02:15","modified_gmt":"2018-02-06T04:02:15","slug":"2018-ural-sahara-review-death-to-fascists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/2018-ural-sahara-review-death-to-fascists\/","title":{"rendered":"2018 URAL SAHARA REVIEW \u2013 DEATH TO FASCISTS!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Images by Nick Edards\/Half Light Photography<\/a><\/p>\n

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And whatever is going on is being lit by LEDs. And the hatred of bus drivers.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

There is so much going on here.<\/p>\n

Most of it is spectacular and hilarious.<\/p>\n

Some of it is terrifying.<\/p>\n

But all of it is appropriate for the task at hand.<\/p>\n

And that task, friends and relatives, is \u201cSmyert Fashistam!\u201d<\/p>\n

Or, if your Russian is less than fluent, \u201cDeath to Fascists!\u201d which was one of the Soviet war-cries during the Great Patriotic War (aka WWII).<\/p>\n

The other Soviet war-cries were \u201cOooorrrahhhhh!\u201d \u201cBey, Kolyi, Ganyi, Biri V\u2019Palon!\u201d (Beat, Slaughter, Chase and Imprison), and \u201cHande hoch!\u201d (Hands up!).<\/p>\n

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There is a certain grand military presence to it, especially when it’s painted in desert brown. Eat your heart out, Afrika Korps.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

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Yes, it is a little soiled by my use of it. And it seemed altogether pointless to wash it so that is sparkled<\/strong>.<\/p><\/div>\n

The first was a general howling as the Red Army advanced, the second was something the great General Suvorov came up with during his trouncing of Napoleon, and the third came in handy as the Red Army crossed into Germany in 1945.<\/p>\n

The Ural (And it is pronounced \u201cOoh-ral\u201d not \u201cYou-ral\u201d) story begins a little earlier, in 1939.<\/p>\n

The Russians knew war with Germany was inevitable. Even though everything looked very chummy at that time via the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact, both sides kinda figured it was going to go to shit eventually.<\/p>\n

The Russians understood rapid movement was the key to the next war, and their current crop of steppe ponies and wagons pulled by angry babushkas was not going to cut it against the German Panzer divisions.<\/p>\n

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It takes extra effort to float the boat when there is a passenger reclining in it. But we persevered. Like men<\/strong>.<\/p><\/div>\n

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There was some screaming. Not much. But some.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

The first Ural was modelled on a BMW sidecar called the R71. Legend has it five of these were secretly purchased by helpful Swedes and brought to Russia. In all likelihood, the Germans (ironically, as it turned out) simply supplied their Russian then-allies with the drawings.<\/p>\n

In any case, Soviet engineers created or reverse-engineered the Beemers and in 1941 showed Papa Stalin the Dniepr M-72 \u2013 one of which still exists in the IMZ-Ural factory in Irbit, Russia.<\/p>\n

IMZ stands for \u2018Irbitsky Mototsikletny Zavod\u2019 (Irbit Motorcycle Factory).<\/p>\n

But where is Irbit?<\/p>\n

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Nothing but the finest kulak engineerin<\/strong>g.<\/p><\/div>\n

It\u2019s a few hundred kms north of Kazakhstan in the Sverdlovskaya Oblast region of Russia \u2013 which is sort of in the middle there. If you get to the town of Alapayevsk from Yekaterinburg and turn right, you\u2019ll find it. If you hit Verkhnaya Sinyachikha, you\u2019ve gone too far.<\/p>\n

The Ural factory is there because that\u2019s where Stalin moved it to so it would not fall into German hands as the Nazis advanced into Russia. And it was left there after the war. Probably in case the Germans ever decided to come back for another crack.<\/p>\n

Which is always possible in the Russian mindset.<\/p>\n

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When the Russians take back Italy, they will be known as Brembov brakes.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

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The Givi screen is an accessory. I don’t think it did anything but shake wildly over 100km\/h.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

Anyway, IMZ-Ural still produce motorcycles to this day, and they are still vaguely modeled on the old Beemers, though they do now have a flavour all of their own \u2013 and it\u2019s a flavour more informed by borscht<\/em> and piroshki<\/em> than by bratwurst<\/em> and sauerkraut<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Of course, today\u2019s bikes boast fuel injection and Brembo brakes, but they are magnificently industrial in their appearance. And people who don\u2019t know think you\u2019re riding a vintage motorcycle.<\/p>\n

\u201cShut-up!\u201d you say to them. \u201cIs not vintage! Is Russian!\u201d<\/p>\n

Why is that important to your understanding of the Ural?
\nWell, non-Russian sidecars were designed as transport for the poor. You could put your family, or your tools, trade-goods, potatoes, coal, you name it, in one and off you went.<\/p>\n

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A lockable compartment in the tank. You can out your phone in there but it will be smashed to pieces. It’s probably better to put your ciggies and Tokarev pistol in there.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

Russian sidecars were designed to defend Mother Russia from the Fascist hordes and to soak their tyres in their filthy blood.<\/p>\n

So there\u2019s a profound philosophical difference.<\/p>\n

The Urals are a little\u2026erm, rugged in both build quality and mien, but don\u2019t let a few exposed wires and surface rust spots put you off. If I was going to cross Russia properly, like a man who wrestles bears, then there is no other motorcycle I would do it on. The Ural was specifically designed to deal with extreme temperatures, and seemingly impassable roads. If you\u2019ve never seen them crossing that insane Russian river on Youtube, check this out.<\/p>\n

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