Dear George,<\/p>\n
You really do need to leave Cal Crutchlow alone.<\/p>\n
You know perfectly well he\u2019s not stable. Look at his crazy eyes. See how they appear to look in two different directions at once?<\/p>\n
That\u2019s a warning sign.<\/p>\n
He may come steaming out of his motorhome at any second and use that spear you\u2019re waving to turn you into a kebab. He is at his home track and his people will protect him.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re not very popular here, George. Many English people blame you for Brexit. I\u2019m pretty sure Theresa May did not say \u201cWe cannot stay in the EU while that Spanish twat is there\u201d, but many English people believe she did.<\/p>\n
Come away. No good can come from you calling him a \u201cCheating Churchill puta who smells like stupid curry made from stolen cats\u201d.<\/p>\n
He has as much business being fast in Free Practice 1 and 2 as you do.<\/p>\n
Except you\u2019re not so fast in FP2. I keep telling you every weekend that your tyre strategy is not correct. It\u2019s all well and good to say to me: \u201cGigi, put the softest putas on!\u201d every time you march into the garage.<\/p>\n
How many soft qualifying tyres do you think we have? No, it\u2019s not \u201cAs many as I want!\u201d. Who told you that? Was it Petrucci?<\/p>\n
Yes, I know you\u2019re faster than Dovi at the moment. But that\u2019s because you took his tyres. You also took his trophy from Austria, didn\u2019t you?<\/p>\n
You\u2019re going to have to give that back. He doesn\u2019t have that many trophies, and you know how he likes to arrange them like shiny little soldiers on the edge of his yoga mat while he does Downward Dog.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s sent me a note saying you make his chakras bleed. I do not even know what chakras are or why they should be bleeding, but he is a little bit hysterical.<\/p>\n
Did you also paint \u201cMY SAD LITTLE BUTTER-BITCH\u201d on his motorhome? You can\u2019t blame \u201cthe stinking Protestants\u201d for everything, you know.<\/p>\n
Look, we still have another practice session and then Qualifying. So a little focus on your part is important. Yes, more important than drawing penises on Rossi\u2019s merchandise tent and calling Cal names.<\/p>\n
Now leave Cal alone and go back to your own motorhome.<\/p>\n
Forever hopeful,<\/p>\n
Gigi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear George, You really do need to leave Cal Crutchlow alone. You know perfectly well he\u2019s not stable. Look at his crazy eyes. See how they appear to look in two different directions at once? That\u2019s a warning sign. He may come steaming out of his motorhome at any second and use that spear you\u2019re [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":449584,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[252],"tags":[253],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449575"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=449575"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449575\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":449601,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/449575\/revisions\/449601"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/449584"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=449575"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=449575"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=449575"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}