{"id":437844,"date":"2017-06-25T11:32:07","date_gmt":"2017-06-25T01:32:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bikeme.tv\/?p=437844"},"modified":"2017-06-25T11:32:07","modified_gmt":"2017-06-25T01:32:07","slug":"we-could-even-dress-him-up-in-a-red-clown-suit-and-put-an-octopus-on-his-head-you-know-make-a-day-of-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/we-could-even-dress-him-up-in-a-red-clown-suit-and-put-an-octopus-on-his-head-you-know-make-a-day-of-it\/","title":{"rendered":"” We could even dress him up in a red clown-suit and put an octopus on his head \u2013 you know, make a day of it.”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Gigi,<\/p>\n

You know I don\u2019t like to get too involved in what you have going on with George. I\u2019m not exactly sure what that thing is, but it is now making my life interesting.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m convinced him qualifying in 21st<\/sup> brings with it all kinds of new challenges for you as well, but you have to stop him talking to the press.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m at the point where I\u2019m going to get Enzo to duct-tape his entire head shut.<\/p>\n

How is Matthias to understand how his 20-million Euros buys him 21st<\/sup> in qualifying? He keeps saying he could buy Dovizioso\u2019s whole family, a mountain, and three breweries for that kind of money, don\u2019t you? He\u2019s even talking about putting Petrucci into George\u2019s leathers for Qualifying (at this stage), and is not ruling out surgery to make them fit.<\/p>\n

So what am I to make of George\u2019s latest comments to the press?<\/p>\n

\u201cAt the right moment, at the important point, is when I felt worst. It started to rain very heavily in Q1. There was no grip, it felt like an ice rink and the rear tyre was very hard. If I could have got to Q2, with less water, it would have gone better. With less water I would have been in the top five.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Right moment\u2019? What \u2018right moment\u2019? Was that when Baz passed him on a bike we built in 1997? Or is he talking about the rain? From where I was sitting it looked to be falling on everyone equally.<\/p>\n

Have you explained to George how this qualifying stuff works? If he wants to be in Q2 then he has to ride faster than 13 other riders. It\u2019s not rocket science.<\/p>\n

I do agree \u2018less water\u2019 might have been a good thing for everyone, but that only usually bothers the grid girls whose hair gets all frizzy and they slip around a bit in their heels.<\/p>\n

Gigi, Pol\u2019s KTM is faster than George. It\u2019s first time I\u2019ve ever seen the Austrians laughing since the Aschluss. If it wasn\u2019t for Rabat and Smith being so shit (a fact I thank the Virgin Mary for), George would be last.<\/p>\n

Do you think it would be a good idea to take George to an ice rink and make him do laps until he understands what the difference is between Assen and two hectares of flat ice? I can make this happen, you know. We could even dress him up in a red clown-suit and put an octopus on his head \u2013 you know, make a day of it. Drink some beer, have a laugh, make a few bets about how far he\u2019d slide on the rink.<\/p>\n

If Matthias sells us to Harley-Davidson, this may well be what happens. And worse. What if those Americans decide George is better off riding a rodeo bull? In an ice rink? Dressed like a cowboy? Do you think I can stop that happening?<\/p>\n

I have also had complaints from the Dutch organisers. George seems to be confused about where he is. This is Holland. The people are Dutch. It is also called the Netherlands.<\/p>\n

I need you to explain to George the country is not named after his private parts. Also, the people are not \u2018Dutchers\u2019, \u2018Hollperras\u2019, or \u2018Netherputas\u2019. He needs to stop saying the marshals all smell like hash-cheese, should cease enslaving Zulus in South Africa, and must let Nelson Mandela out of prison.<\/p>\n

And tell him to stop wearing that scarf. Enzo can only keep temptation at bay for so long.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Enzo wants to tie the end to the truck’s mirror and drive to Amsterdam.<\/p><\/div>\n

I\u2019ll see you after the race. I have a bottle of duty free gin that needs to be emptied.<\/p>\n

Regards,<\/p>\n

Davide Tardozzi<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Gigi, You know I don\u2019t like to get too involved in what you have going on with George. I\u2019m not exactly sure what that thing is, but it is now making my life interesting. I\u2019m convinced him qualifying in 21st brings with it all kinds of new challenges for you as well, but you [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":437946,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[252],"tags":[253,61],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/437844"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=437844"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/437844\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":437964,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/437844\/revisions\/437964"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/437946"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=437844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=437844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=437844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}