So there I am, commuting to work astride a lovely black Ducati Streetfighter S. The roads are greasy, the traffic is heavy, the clutch is slightly grabby and the throttle response on Ducati\u2019s most aggressive-looking (and therefore most appealing) model is\u2026um, somewhat immediate.<\/p>\n
No biggie. That\u2019s how Ducatis roll. My biggest issue with this carbon-fibre-kissed Italian weapon is its supernatural narrowness. Especially after the legs-akimbo bulk of the B-Czar.<\/p>\n
But I am nothing if not adaptable \u2013 and the Streetfighter S is exceptionally good at kneading my hooligan glands, so if it likes me to sit on it like a lady in a tight dress, I am happy to do so.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I am proceeding down Windsor Rd, and I encounter a clot of traffic two lanes wide at a set of traffic lights where there is an empty right-hand turn lane. With immense grace and \u00e9lan, I split between cars, find a gap big enough to deal with the unfortunate turning circle of the Streetfighter, swing right into the right-hand turn lane and throttle on with a will as the lights go green.<\/p>\n
As you do.<\/p>\n
I snick it into second, and revel at the urge all too evident in that glorious motor, before buttoning off as another clump of traffic waits for me up ahead. As I veer into the left lane on a trailing throttle and line up the stationary cars to do some more lane-splitting, I hear the all too familiar whoop of a siren. I glance in my mirrors to see them filled with a horrible unmarked green Ford FPV with a blue and red lightshow flickering on its dash.<\/p>\n
Right, that\u2019s me profoundly fucked then, I think. I would have hit 120 off the lights. It\u2019s a 70 zone.<\/p>\n
My momentum carries me past the first two cars in front of me, and then a strange slow-speed farce ensues cos there is nowhere for me to pull over.<\/p>\n
The Highway Patrol car is now two cars behind me in the middle lane with all his electrical hatred blazing and I am in the left-hand lane. Because of the traffic, we\u2019re all doing about five km\/h.<\/p>\n
I did consider doing a runner, knowing full well he\u2019d stand no chance of catching me as the traffic only gets thicker as it approaches Westmead. But I also know full well that he\u2019s filming me, and has my numberplate. And I don\u2019t imagine Norm Fraser Imports’ lovely young Alison Fraser (who organised the bike for me) would stand up under too much torture before tearfully shopping me to the cops.<\/p>\n
This low-speed pursuit continues for almost a kilometre before the police car finally manages to get the car-driving retards to notice him, get out of his way and we stop.<\/p>\n
I get off the bike, walk towards the car and offer to find a side street where he can Tase and baton me at will before bundling me off to gaol. He waves me angrily away and I go and stand by my bike to await the inevitable.<\/p>\n
A young constable emerges from the hideous green FPV. As he gets closer, I see no name tag. In its place is a tag that states Task Force Talon \u2013 the mob that hunts, kills and eats street racers in NSW.<\/p>\n
He gives me the now standard \u201cYou\u2019re on video\u201d speech then asks if I have any reason that could possibly explain why I was lane-splitting \u201cat speed\u201d and the accelerating away from the lights like I did.<\/p>\n
“Well, officer,” I lie politely. \u201cI picked this bike up yesterday from Ducati and it\u2019s giving me all sorts of grief down low. It hunts and stutters and is making a hell of a racket. I just gave it a fistful to see if that would help.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s not your bike?\u201d he asks.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, it\u2019s Ducati\u2019s. I ride bikes and write about them in magazines.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with it?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cListen,\u201d I say, hitting the starter button \u2013 which on the Streetfighter (and most Ducatis) produces a fearful wind-up noise which is then followed by the seemingly catastrophic rattling from the dry clutch.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat sounds pretty bad,\u201d the officer admits.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, I\u2019m taking it to Ducati now,\u201d I sigh.<\/p>\n
He then takes my licence, informs me he has made his mind up about what happens next and disappears into his car while I kick gravel on the side of the road for five minutes.<\/p>\n
He comes back and hands me my licence.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve got quite a driving record,\u201d he smiles.<\/p>\n
\u201cI do a lot of miles, officer,\u201d I reply sheepishly.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll bet you do. Look, I already said I\u2019d made my mind up and I\u2019m just going to caution you in this instance.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI am grateful for your discretion in this regard, officer,\u201d I manage to stutter.<\/p>\n
\u201cListen,\u201d he then says, \u201cI\u2019ll just wait until you gear up before I move off. I don\u2019t want anyone running into you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI appreciate the gesture,\u201d I say, completely nonplussed.<\/p>\n
\u201cMate,\u201d he grins, \u201cI they don\u2019t pay attention to me when I\u2019m behind them with my lights and sirens on, what hope have blokes like you got?\u201d<\/p>\n
None \u2013 unless there\u2019s a dry clutch involved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So there I am, commuting to work astride a lovely black Ducati Streetfighter S. The roads are greasy, the traffic is heavy, the clutch is slightly grabby and the throttle response on Ducati\u2019s most aggressive-looking (and therefore most appealing) model is\u2026um, somewhat immediate. No biggie. That\u2019s how Ducatis roll. My biggest issue with this carbon-fibre-kissed [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2179,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[220],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2178"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2178"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2178\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2777,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2178\/revisions\/2777"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2179"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2178"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2178"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2178"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}