{"id":1494776,"date":"2020-05-24T09:14:09","date_gmt":"2020-05-23T23:14:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bikeme.tv\/?p=1494776"},"modified":"2020-05-24T09:26:12","modified_gmt":"2020-05-23T23:26:12","slug":"2020-ducati-hypermotard-950-review-art-reincarnated","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/2020-ducati-hypermotard-950-review-art-reincarnated\/","title":{"rendered":"2020 DUCATI HYPERMOTARD 950 REVIEW \u2013 ART REINCARNATED"},"content":{"rendered":"

IMAGES BY NICK \u2018I WISH YOU WERE A FRUIT-BAT\u2019 EDARDS \/ HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHIC<\/strong><\/p>\n

She said, \u201cDo you wanna go to heaven?\u201d
\nAnd I said, \u201cYeah, just lead me on.\u201d
\n\u201cTake my hand, can you feel that feelin\u2019?\u201d
\nAnd I said, \u201cYeah, just lead me on.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

TG Sheppard<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

That’s not the green, green grass of home. Just sayin’…<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

A long time ago, I had a mate called Art.<\/p>\n

He was evil incarnate. The ultimate accessory before, during, and after the fact. A dark enabler of the highest order.<\/p>\n

We\u2019d be in a pub somewhere, and I\u2019d catch a glimpse of his gold tooth. He\u2019d be grinning like demon and slowly drumming his tattooed fingers on the dirty table.<\/p>\n

Then he\u2019d suggest\u2026 a thing. A thing that always involved some anti-social motorcycle nonsense.<\/p>\n

Art was a boon companion for murky deeds; the leering bastard who\u2019d whisper assurances when you had doubts.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Bad behaviour at rest.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

A grinning facilitator for the ruination of your soul.<\/p>\n

The 2020 Ducati Hypermotard 950 is Art reincarnated as a motorcycle.<\/p>\n

I knew this the moment I laid eyes on it. I knew this even at my advanced age \u2013 an age that warned me motards were a young man\u2019s game. And a Ducati motard, the Hypermotard no less\u2026well, Hell\u2026what business do I have even looking at that section of the bar\u2026erm, showroom?<\/p>\n

\"\"

“Is this a Highway Patrol convention?”<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

But all men love motards deep down in the shadows of their hearts. These are bikes which speak to our devils. I am no different, and the Lord knows I have me some devils.<\/p>\n

Ducati\u2019s centrefold-red Hypermotard had my gibbering mob by the throat, and they were paying attention. Their pointy ears were up and their slitted amber eyes glinted.<\/p>\n

The very idea of a motard is motorcycling incarnate. A light, agile chassis wedded to an oomph-filled engine, and an attitude that forces you to seriously consider leaping it off a wall while escaping from the police.<\/p>\n

\"\"

A gold star for the most complicated conglomeration of exotic metals ever.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

And no-one does motards quite like Ducati does.
\nThis is not a dirt bike with road wheels and tyres.
\nThis is its own purpose-built \u201cthing\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Basic, informative, but no Netflix.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

I was prepared to dislike it. I was prepared to find flaws in its fuelling, its power-delivery, its ergos, and its tetchy thought-sharp handling. I couldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

The fuelling was spot on. It fed me 96Nm, belting its 178kg (dry) and me off three grand like a two-am backhander. I sat on it like a demented ape, high and proud with my elbows up like a true motard-beast, and I did not once curse the seat. There really is no need for motorcycle companies to inflict buttock-cruelty on us in 2020, and Bologna understands this for the most part. You can actually put in a long day atop the Hypermotard\u2019s bum-vinyl, and no-one was more surprised about this than me. Yeah, you will feel like you\u2019ve been for a ride, but you\u2019ll be walking unaided into the pub. That\u2019s a good result in my world.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Pure Bologna DNA – no doubt about it.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

The handling, which is sharp and fast, as it must be, did take me some time to absorb \u2013 probably six or seven corners. And then it was all fierce intent.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a Ducati,\u201d I would tell myself each time I felt somewhat over-committed approaching a corner. \u201cIt\u2019s handling incarnate. Shut-up. Jesus hates a pussy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"

Sachs monoshock is fine. Seriously. It’s better than you. But the SP has \u00d6hlins. And carbon-fibre.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

And so it went. Every time. I never wished the Hypermotard would do anything \u201cbetter\u201d, but I often wished I could.<\/p>\n

I found it tall (870mm), and you do sit very much \u201con\u201d it. So care must be taken when you\u2019re paddling it around parking or doing slow, feet-down, spasmo U-turns. I had a brief slippery moment when the whole carnival came close to setting me on my rump and falling atop of me. But that was just me being short and fumbly in that lurching moment when I have to do an illegal U-turn (not in front of a Highway Patrol car), and ride back through a corner so Mr Edards can make a photograph.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Only the pillion will be cramped. Matter for her.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

You get three riding modes, Sport, Touring, and Urban. Sport is for high holy days when the force is with you and you\u2019re riding like a supercharged spider monkey.<\/p>\n

Touring mode is where most of my time with the Hypermotard was spent. It offers a notably smoother power delivery (still the whole 114 horsies), and that delivery made my manic inputs less terrifying. So maybe the former mode before lunch and the latter after lunch. Or vice-versa. Only you can make that post-hamburger call. I tried Urban mode briefly and then ignored it, because it\u2019s not the boss of me.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Must I tell you how good these are? I think not.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

Polishing this arsenal is a goodly suite of electronic assistance \u2013 Bosch Cornering ABS (in six axiseses), as well as Ducati Traction Control (DTC) and Ducati Wheelie Control (DWC). Which allegedly stops you back-flipping the bike while courting young ladies.<\/p>\n

\"\"

This is an optical illusion. The rear wheel does not just float in space.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

I loved the sense of empowerment the Hypermotard offered me. It was up for it if I was up for it.<\/p>\n

Art used to do that to me all the time. He was very good at it. He assuaged my self-doubt and made me feel like anything was possible, even if it was immoral, illegal, or mortally dangerous.<\/p>\n

Because if we didn\u2019t caught and we didn\u2019t die, we\u2019d laugh about it afterwards.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Nick must have been falling over when he took this one.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

I spent a lot of time laughing on the Hypermotard. Each time I\u2019d put it through Mother Putty\u2019s Ten-Mile snake-bite, and when I\u2019d glance at either the entry speed or the exit speed, I\u2019d be appalled and delighted. And that\u2019s precisely what riding bikes needs to deliver in equal amounts. If it doesn\u2019t, you\u2019re maybe doing it wrong.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Damn…this carpark is smaller than it first looked.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

Does it need more power? Oh\u2026you\u2019re one of those chieftains who feels a 290km\/h top-end on a motard is the deal-maker? Sorry. You\u2019re going to have to make do with the shamefully low 200s. Too bad, so sad. Maybe buy a Panigale?<\/p>\n

The Hypermotard is not for everyone.<\/p>\n

It does not pretend to be.<\/p>\n

\"\"

“Stop beeping your horn, lady. We shall move it soon.”<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

This is a bike with ferocious intent built into its superb DNA. It is the third of its name and an all-new make-over of the previous 939.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t compete with anything. Not really. It is very much its own thing.<\/p>\n

It commutes with elan. It scratches with purpose. It tours with a cheery and ever so vague nod at your ageing flesh. You can\u2019t strap anything to it, and your pillion will not spend her time relaxing. I would suggest not taking her. You\u2019ll only dilute the experience, and no-one\u2019s day will be sunshine.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Fierce and fast. Not me. The Hypermotard.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

So it does all of that.<\/p>\n

But it does so much more as well.<\/p>\n

Just like my old mate, Art, the grinning evil of my youth \u2013 the Ducati Hypermotard 950 is the embodiment of the cackling in my head.<\/p>\n

Yeah, just lead me on.<\/p>\n

\"\"

I am easily led.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

HOW MUCH IS IT? <\/strong>
\nHypermotard $21,200 Ride Away<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hypermotard SP $26,600 Ride Away \u2013 The SP is the tricked-up, carbon-fibre-lashed, \u00d6hlins-informed variant. Yes, I would spend the extra bucks. But that\u2019s me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

THE BIG QUESTIONS ANSWERED<\/strong><\/p>\n

DO THE CONTROLS FALL EASILY TO HAND?<\/p>\n

Of course, but you have to drop them just-so.<\/p>\n

WHAT’S THE CREAM-LEVEL OF TORQUE?<\/p>\n

A small herd of Holstein-Friesians would be jealous.<\/p>\n

GLISTENING PAINT – YES OR NO?<\/p>\n

Ducati Red does not glisten, you animal. It sears.<\/p>\n

ALL THE SPECS CAN BE FOUND HERE<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

IMAGES BY NICK \u2018I WISH YOU WERE A FRUIT-BAT\u2019 EDARDS \/ HALF LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHIC She said, \u201cDo you wanna go to heaven?\u201d And I said, \u201cYeah, just lead me on.\u201d \u201cTake my hand, can you feel that feelin\u2019?\u201d And I said, \u201cYeah, just lead me on.\u201d TG Sheppard   A long time ago, I had [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1494777,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[4,256,398,106,58],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494776"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1494776"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494776\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1494797,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494776\/revisions\/1494797"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1494777"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1494776"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1494776"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1494776"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}