Dear Blue Bushidos.<\/p>\n
It is me, your new Blue Boss of All The Yamahas and also Testiculo Spectaculo i Glorioso de Spartano.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And I am here in this terrible rainy sweatbox of freezing air-conditionings and dirty palm-trees full of spiders, called Spandex Racetrack, in what looks like China.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So first I want to say that I am already faster than everybody because I have made the proper riding for the testing \u2013 and it was not on a stupid red Bologna or a horrible Satu Hati Mati Fati Repsolo.<\/p>\n
I am on the best bike \u2013 the Blue Bushidomaha! And look how Lin shows his happiness! He cuts himself with a screwdriver! Even my old servant Gigi has pointed his eyebrow at me as I flew past his red tear-pit, which is full of crying, fat, and hair.<\/p>\n
I was so fast, it was hard to time me. I had to slow down so the numbers would not upset everyone.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
But already they are upset. I see this everywhere. I see that French Back-Flip Puta who surrendered seven times last year begging Gigi to give him a floor to sweep.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I see the Maniac Puta, Iannone, walking in his junkie underpants after injecting his face with exhaust smoke and holding a bag of hair he wants someone to test.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I say to him: \u201cSSSSSSS-CHAH! I cannot test everything! Find someone else who will take your hair to a laboratory.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I see also how the Yellow Puta\u2019s big monkey eyes follow me when I walk from pit to pit and give the good advice to all the riders who will never win a championship.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are too fat!\u201d I say to the fat ones.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cYou are too slow!\u201d I say to the slow ones.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou have too many stolen things,\u201d I say to the Criminal Redding, who is here stealing bike parts to sell to the criminals in BSB.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is wrong with your faces?\u201d I ask the Orange Bull Putas.<\/p>\n
And then I come back to my garage and begin my year-long guidance of the team.<\/p>\n
\u201cListen, Old Yellow Puta,\u201d I say to the Old Yellow Puta. \u201cYour seat is too black, like the heart of Carmelo. I know all about seats and hearts. He does not. So he must listen. And obey, and make it less black.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cListen, Tom Cruise Fighter Jet Volleyball Puta,\u201d I then say to the woman with the moustache. \u201cYou must ride with the neck and the ankles. Like an eagle! That is the secret.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cListen, Other French Puta,\u201d I also say to the one with little Tic-Tac teeth. \u201cClose your mouth in the heat of battle. Too much air comes between your Tic-Tacs.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cWho are you?\u201d I then ask the other one, because I really do not know.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u201cPut down the screwdriver!\u201d I finally say to Lin. \u201cBring me more cold water and a nice espresso!\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And then everybody is happy and they say to me it is impossible for them to race and to win without me.<\/p>\n
This is true. They are lucky I am here.<\/p>\n
Standby for further testing instructions.<\/p>\n
Always watching, always judging,<\/p>\n
George.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Blue Bushidos. It is me, your new Blue Boss of All The Yamahas and also Testiculo Spectaculo i Glorioso de Spartano. And I am here in this terrible rainy sweatbox of freezing air-conditionings and dirty palm-trees full of spiders, called Spandex Racetrack, in what looks like China. So first I want to [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1494525,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[252],"tags":[253],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494524"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1494524"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494524\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1494526,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494524\/revisions\/1494526"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1494525"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1494524"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1494524"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1494524"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}