{"id":1494258,"date":"2019-10-31T14:05:56","date_gmt":"2019-10-31T04:05:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bikeme.tv\/?p=1494258"},"modified":"2019-10-31T14:05:56","modified_gmt":"2019-10-31T04:05:56","slug":"2019-aprilia-tuono-1100-factory-review-wrath-of-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/2019-aprilia-tuono-1100-factory-review-wrath-of-god\/","title":{"rendered":"2019 APRILIA TUONO 1100 FACTORY REVIEW \u2013 WRATH OF GOD"},"content":{"rendered":"

IMAGES BY DAN EVERETT<\/strong><\/p>\n

The latest incarnation of the Tuono Factory is a stunning motorcycle. Objectively, subjectively \u2013 hell, any damn jectively you like. It\u2019s just sublime.<\/p>\n

I first rode it at Sydney Motorsport Park (SMP) a while back during the press launch. At the end of the day, I had completed more laps faster than I had ever done at SMP. I was captivated by the bike. If you\u2019re interested, you can read about that experience HERE<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n

\"\"

I have ridden this corner 3,554 times. Yes, I have been counting.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

But racetracks are racetracks. Smooth, predictable, and when you\u2019ve reached the limits of your kung-fu, pretty same-same every lap.<\/p>\n

The road is a different place. Especially the roads I ride thesedays. The surfaces are ever-changing. The conditions can vary from morning to afternoon. Animals, lunatics, and werewolves may appear upon the instant and change your world. You can go very fast in relative safety on a racetrack. You wanna go very fast on the road, you\u2019ve bought a ticket to a different ride.<\/p>\n

\"\"

I have always liked how Aprilia paints its bikes up like showgirls.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

But the Tuono Factory is all about that<\/em> ride. It is the most complete and sorted naked bike I have ridden thus far. It is the Wrath of God. And because it is that, it is, to my mind, the best naked bike in the world at this point in time. Yes, there is competition coming. But right now, this is my King Daddy.<\/p>\n

I thought it was great on the track. It was even better on the road. And what makes it so good is the suspension. It is possessed of the next-gen Bosch electronic wizardry, which acts in a predictive fashion, preparing for the next \u2018event\u2019 you\u2019re going to encounter. I go into some detail in the linked yarn above, so I\u2019m not going to repeat myself.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Tube full of magic.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

\"\"

Another tube full of magic.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

And it really doesn\u2019t matter. I\u2019m not the kind of bloke who cares how sausages are made. Only that they are delicious to eat.<\/p>\n

So while the bare numbers are as impressive as you\u2019d think \u2013 175 horses, 121Nm and a 209kg wet-weight \u2013 none of that means anything unless the suspension knows what it\u2019s doing. And the Tuono\u2019s certainly does. The very shortest of rides will convince you of this. I smashed it up and down Mother Putty a few times, as well as the Wollombi Road, with it\u2019s terrible between-bridges section, and nothing I have ridden has done it with more\u2026well, \u00e9lan, than the Tuono.<\/p>\n

\"\"

It’s not so much an engine as it is an act of war.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

You know there\u2019s something otherworldly going on when you come rocketing into a broken-surfaced, crap-narrow bend, too scared to look at the speedo because you know what you\u2019ll see will horrify you. You\u2019re grabbing brakes (but not too much lest that go into the shape of a pear), the motor\u2019s barking thunder, the perfect quickshifter’s sorting your gear-selection (sometimes it\u2019s too terrifying to reach for the clutch), and you\u2019re hoping those magical Pirellis remain magical \u2013 and then suddenly you\u2019re through and quickshifting up the gears as if nothing much at all as happened. The Tuono is so divinely unflappable in those wondrous moments.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Harley has yet to fit these on any of its performance models.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

But when the road is good, and you\u2019re stringing bends together like some mad old woman plaiting her macram\u00e9 knots, then it\u2019s a holy thing. The Tuono factory is possessed of one of the greatest engines ever wedged into a bike. That 65-degree V4 is for sure some devil-sex magic. It sounds volcanic. On the gas hard or coming off the gas hard, it grumbles and rumbles like a granite landslide. I found myself quickshifting the gears even when there was no need, just to listen to it bark. Yes, I am cussed like that. But you\u2019ll do it too.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Burnt love.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

This is a motorcycle package that, thanks to its suspension, touches a new peak of rider enjoyment.<\/p>\n

It is far more capable than me, and always will be. But so what? Most everyone who rides, rides stuff more capable than they are. Few of us breathe rarified racer-air. No-one I know has ever given a shit what a racer or former racer thinks of a bike. Those blokes are a different white meat to us. And they don\u2019t road-ride all that much.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Do I want to know what that button does?<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

What I want to know is what will this bike, in this case the Tuono Factory, do for me<\/em>? How will it make me<\/em> feel? How will it respond to my<\/em> Mr Average inputs and failings? If I lift my<\/em> game, will it rise to meet it? If I ask a dumb question of it, will it forgive me my<\/em> trespasses?<\/p>\n

\"\"

There’s a lean-angle indicator in there. Don’t stare at it while you’re riding. Download the Aprilia App and impress your girlfriend like that.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

\"\"

It sounded great…but I have heard them with stumpier pipes and they sound greater.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

Let me answer those questions.
\nThe Tuono Factory made me feel like a goddamn superstar. People who looked at me knew I was a man of unsurpassed greatness because I rode a Tuono Factory. It responded to me as if we\u2019d been friends forever \u2013 pleasing and delighting me every time I rode it. I even loved the way it barked itself into savage life each time I hit the starter button. When I found myself feeling fruity and heroic, the Tuono simply offered its compliments and complied. The more lemony I got, the more salmony it got. We complemented each other like good whiskey and age.<\/p>\n

\"\"

See how it absorbs power from the sun?<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

I ain\u2019t that fast a rider. But I\u2019m at peace with that. The point here is you don\u2019t have to be Iannone to make the Tuono thunder. But when you do, you\u2019ll think you are.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s comfortable \u2013 being all upright ergos with wide bars, and the million menus and options are next-level adjustable (why the hell wouldn\u2019t you want 21 settings for your steering damper?), and relatively easy to change once you get the hang of it.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Look at that swingarm. There’s so much of it.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

What will people who purse their lips about such a desirably extravagant $27,190 (plus on-roads) sex-machine complain about?<\/p>\n

The price. Go shop at Aldi, povo swine. The Wrath of God has no price.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Planning corners is for amateurs.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

It\u2019s thirsty. Like seriously thirsty. I don\u2019t care. We got lots of dinosaurs left and I\u2019d only gamble the money away or spend it on hookers. It\u2019s best in my petrol tank. Yeah, let me know if you get 200km out of it. I\u2019ll know you\u2019re not enjoying yourself.<\/p>\n

The mirrors are vaguely useful, or maybe my arms are too big. Don\u2019t care. You\u2019ll see the red-and-blue lights when you need to see them, and curls get the girls.<\/p>\n

\"\"

The crazy man who lives here didn’t come out.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

There\u2019s nowhere to put a pillion. Don\u2019t care about that, either. That fluted tail-piece is Italian art. Putting a pillion seat on would only encourage screaming and detract from the aesthetics. Catch a cab, sweetie.
\nThe horn is rubbish and the headlight is reasonable, but none of those are deal-breakers for me.<\/p>\n

If any of this bothers you, shop elsewhere. Feed at the bottom of the river. Purse your thin damn lips in condemnation.<\/p>\n

The Tuono Factory is not for you.<\/p>\n

But it surely is for people like me.<\/p>\n

MORE DETAILS AND TECH STUFF HERE<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

IMAGES BY DAN EVERETT The latest incarnation of the Tuono Factory is a stunning motorcycle. Objectively, subjectively \u2013 hell, any damn jectively you like. It\u2019s just sublime. I first rode it at Sydney Motorsport Park (SMP) a while back during the press launch. At the end of the day, I had completed more laps faster [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1494259,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[365,106,58,387],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494258"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1494258"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494258\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1494275,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1494258\/revisions\/1494275"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1494259"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1494258"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1494258"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1494258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}