The homos had the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras on Saturday, which included a bunch of overweight lesbians riding motorcycles up Oxford Street without helmets on, which is illegal unless, apparently, one is homosexual.<\/p>\n
I can only imagine what would happen if I tried to do it. I assume there would be sirens, and batons and tasers if I didn\u2019t submit. And all, apparently, because of my sexual orientation.<\/p>\n
I am a victim.<\/p>\n
Sunday I went for a ride. I wanted a nice place to ride to, where I could forget about the crushing oppression. None of this Dark Corner and Mount Horrible. I browsed Google Maps.<\/p>\n
Lemon Tree sounded nice. It wasn\u2019t all that far away. I typed it into the GPS. It directed me up the motorway and across a bit.<\/p>\n
The road turned to dirt. I\u2019d brought the wrong bike. The GPS told me to turn up a road that was steep and had deep ruts, and I turned back. I will return, I thought. Like Douglas MacArthur, except on a bike with knobby tyres.<\/p>\n
I took a big loop south and then north, and hit tar again. It was around 1130. I was looking forward to Lemon Tree. I figured there would be a pub. It was too early for a beer, but I could have murdered a gin and tonic.<\/p>\n
Lemon Tree is a sign, and a house. There is no pub. I wondered if I should knock on the door of the house and ask them to make me a gin and tonic. I decided against it.<\/p>\n
I headed south. I explored side roads. There are some nice roads up there. Signs pointed to Yarramalong. I followed them.<\/p>\n
Yarramalong has no pub.<\/p>\n
I headed further south. I remembered that Mark told me way back that the Spencer general store sold beer. The GPS said it was only 30km away.<\/p>\n
It was a great road. The store sold beer. I bought a Peroni Nastro Azzuro<\/em> and sat at a table outside and watched the river. Four senior citizens drank coffee at the next table. A dog lay on the ground near me.<\/p>\n A small child ran around the corner of the building, yelled \u201cPuppy!\u201d and patted the dog. The dog sat up and licked the child\u2019s face. I looked on benevolently. The child beamed at me and said \u201cPuppy kissed me!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cHe\u2019s not kissing you, kid\u201d, I said. \u201cHe\u2019s wiping cock crud off his tongue.\u201d<\/p>\n A woman with roses tattooed on her arms walked around the corner. I\u2019m not a fan of tattooed women, though I had to admit hers would be good camouflage if she wanted to take a crap in the garden. I hadn\u2019t noticed her doing so, but then I probably wouldn\u2019t, would I?<\/p>\n Probably time to be going, I thought. I drained my Peroni and reached for my helmet.<\/p>\n \u201cMummy\u201d, said the kid, \u201cWhat\u2019s cock crud?\u201d<\/p>\n I walked back to the bike. There was some discussion, possibility clarifying pronunciation, as I put my helmet on. The child pointed at me as I rode past the store. Her mother stared. I shrugged.<\/p>\n Kid had to find out SOME time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The homos had the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras on Saturday, which included a bunch of overweight lesbians riding motorcycles up Oxford Street without helmets on, which is illegal unless, apparently, one is homosexual. I can only imagine what would happen if I tried to do it. I assume there would be sirens, and batons [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":14712,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[221],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14711"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14711"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14711\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":82223,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14711\/revisions\/82223"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14712"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14711"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14711"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14711"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}