Dear George,<\/p>\n
Oh God, why did it have to be like this? I could have just left with Dani and had sex with miniature supermodels.<\/p>\n
Instead I stayed. And I can hear that over-eyebrowed Dall\u2019Igna bastard laughing at night through the thin walls of the hotel room while he carves more cheating carbon-fibre for his swingarms.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs only for the cooling of the tyre,\u201d is it? Why don\u2019t you just fill the tyre with ice like the rest of us, you rule-interpreting bastard?<\/p>\n
But his former problem is now my problem, and my problem has problems.<\/p>\n
Yes, George, it is hot here and we can all hear the river crocodiles eating the anacondas, and the anacondas eating the giant guinea pigs in that big river over there. I don\u2019t think they will come up to the track and attack you, but I will send Carlo and Nuncio down to the water\u2019s edge with burning bushido sticks like you suggest.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not like they have anything much to do in the pits this weekend, is there?<\/p>\n
No, I cannot tell you why they named that huge stupid lake after the Old Grand Imperial Respol Satu Hati Mati Fati, Soichiro Hondo.<\/p>\n
Maybe it was because he fought the crocodiles with his bushido, as you suggest.<\/p>\n
Please stop asking me when I am going to finish the igloo. I am not an Eskimo and my family is not coming to take the poison from your ribs. They have not even spoken to me ever since I started this MotoGP bullshit.<\/p>\n
And I am not named after a \u201cstupid Canadanian prostitute which proves I am an Eskimo. My name is Alberto. Not \u201cAlberta\u201d. My surname is pronounced \u201cPooj\u201d not \u201cPooh-Eegah\u201d, OK?<\/p>\n
So my non-Eskimo sister is unlikely to ever rub your \u201cMamba belly\u201d with the \u201cMagic Evil-Outing Butter-Grease Of The Mighty Ice Bear while chanting \u201cIck-Yuk-Ick-Yuk-Tangrakapok\u201d, OK?<\/p>\n
I want to help you. I even had this great idea to help you. I sent Marc out so you could follow him and maybe get a better qualifying position. He\u2019s now on pole. You\u2019re going to be racing Tito, and he\u2019s had his lungs removed.<\/p>\n
I know we have to wait until the \u201cMamba is fully buttered\u201d before the \u201chammering begins\u201d and I understand that will be around the time we are back in Spain.<\/p>\n
I really hope you mean Jerez and not Valencia. I really do. We all really do. And while it\u2019s unlikely Carmelo will agree to awarding you \u201c20 Spartan Healing Points\u201d for every round you just try not to crash at, I will ask anyway.<\/p>\n
Because it\u2019s not like I have anything better to do either.<\/p>\n
Alberto.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear George, Oh God, why did it have to be like this? I could have just left with Dani and had sex with miniature supermodels. Instead I stayed. And I can hear that over-eyebrowed Dall\u2019Igna bastard laughing at night through the thin walls of the hotel room while he carves more cheating carbon-fibre for his [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1442458,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[252],"tags":[253],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1442449"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1442449"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1442449\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1442480,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1442449\/revisions\/1442480"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1442458"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1442449"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1442449"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1442449"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}