{"id":1439733,"date":"2019-03-05T14:37:33","date_gmt":"2019-03-05T04:37:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bikeme.tv\/?p=1439733"},"modified":"2019-03-05T14:37:33","modified_gmt":"2019-03-05T04:37:33","slug":"tales-of-the-niken-episode-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/tales-of-the-niken-episode-7\/","title":{"rendered":"TALES OF THE NIKEN \u2013 EPISODE 7"},"content":{"rendered":"

In which our hero finds himself in the company of youth; vile, virile and feral. But also with eyes that plead. And our hero is many things, but he is not without some feeling and empathy for the feckless and unbearded.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n\u201cWe\u2019re in trouble all the time
\nYou read about us all in the papers
\nWe walk around and bump into walls – a blind delegation
\nAnd we ain\u2019t afraid of high power
\nWe’re bullet-proof
\nAnd we\u2019ve never heard of Eisenhower
\nMissile power, justice or truth<\/strong><\/p>\n

We\u2019re the Department of Youth<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I hate Goddamn kids. I have one of my own and I love him \u2013 all 23-years-old of him \u2013 but on general principles, I hate them.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s really only when a man crests his mid-forties that he becomes tolerable. I have been tolerable now for more than a decade, so I know what I\u2019m talking about.
\nStill, coming into contact with youth is unavoidable in my world. I have friends who have sons, and some of those sons ride motorcycles and one thing will lead to another and these sons turn up at my house all glaze-eyed and panting from just having slayed the Putty Road like it was some kind of bitumen dragon. I usually give them beer and an ear, and if they\u2019re well-disposed to listen, I may offer some wisdom of the ancients. Shit like: \u201cDon\u2019t fall off\u201d, \u201cHospital food sucks\u201d, \u201cIt\u2019s always a race\u201d and \u201cAlways pay for the girl when you take her out\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"\"

“Leave your keys here. Leave your cash here too.”<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

One of my more frequent youthful visitors is Harry. Harry is the son of a dear friend of mine called Nick. Like myself, Nick moved out of Sydney, but chose a sea-change over my coal-and-wine change, and moved himself up near Coffs Harbour. Like me, he left his offspring behind. It\u2019s best for everyone that way.<\/p>\n

Anyway, Harry was on his way back to Sydney from his dad\u2019s place and because he is a true believer, he eschews the filthy freeway and turns a five-hour ride into 10-hour orgy of backroad corners. My place is as good as any for a sleep-over, because there is always a chance my impossibly attractive niece will be visiting. And I have beer and know my way around a steak.<\/p>\n

I also happen to currently have a Yamaha Niken.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou want to ride it, don\u2019t you?\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cI do,\u201d Harry said.<\/p>\n

I could tell. He had not yet put his helmet down and was peering closely at the front-end as if maybe my niece had hidden herself in there.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know if I let you ride it and something terrible happens, your father will owe me forty grand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that what a Niken costs?\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"

“I’ll pay you back, dad… I promise…”<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cNo. But after I pay Yamaha for the bike, what\u2019s left is what it will cost to settle my nerves.\u201d<\/p>\n

Harry pondered this for a few moments.<\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon dad\u2019s good for it,\u201d he smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cI reckon so,\u201d I agreed. \u201cEither way, I\u2019ll take another bike and go with you. So you don\u2019t get lost.\u201d<\/p>\n

At this point, Harry would have agreed to me fitting him with a shock collar and microchip. He very much wanted to ride the Niken. He\u2019d read all the yarns and had come to the conclusion we, the blokes who wrote them, were full of shit. He was, of course, too well-mannered to say that. But there is not a 23-year-old on this earth that thinks us old people know anything worth knowing.<\/p>\n

He got on the Niken, and I started my normal spiel:
\n\u201cDo not over-think it. It acts like a normal motorcycle. Ride it like a normal motorcycle. It has an up-only quick-shifter. Do not touch any engine modes. If you crash make sure you die, because I will not kick a corpse.\u201d<\/p>\n

On the surface, the Niken was familiar to Harry. He rides a tricked-up MT-09 he bought off his dad, and he rides it passably well. He\u2019s one of those smart kids who does ride days and rider-training courses. He also rides every day, rides for work (he\u2019s a postie), and regularly does big touring trips. He usually does these on his own because most riders his age are happier dressing up like muppets and riding to a pizza shop once a week if it\u2019s not raining. He\u2019s been on a few long rides with me and my mates, and he\u2019s never been last and he\u2019s never cried and wanted to go home.<\/p>\n

So off we went, him on the Niken and me on the Triumph Street Twin I was reviewing at the time.<\/p>\n

We weren\u2019t going far. There was a Class 7 Hunter Valley Thunderstorm not very far away, and I\u2019m old enough to know things about thunderstorms.<\/p>\n

A few kilometres later we pulled over.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Something to tell his grandkids about when they ask him what kinda weird stuff grandad got up to when he was young.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

Harry\u2019s face was pleasure incarnate.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what do you think?\u201d I asked.
\n\u201cIt\u2019s amazing. It\u2019s\u2026like, it feels big at the front\u2026actually, you think it\u2019s going to feel big at the front and I thought at first it was like a Goldwing (yes, he has ridden one), but then it felt\u2026well, right and really easy to chuck into corners\u2026and\u2026amazing\u2026and\u2026cool\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. You still like girls, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Harry blinked at me for a sec. \u201cUm, yes\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood. Just checking.\u201d<\/p>\n

The rain drops began.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re going back,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

Harry looked a little crest-fallen. He\u2019d just spent 10-odd hours smashing bends, but was happy enough to keep right on riding the Niken. You can understand why I hate kids, right?<\/p>\n

Anyway, back in my garage, the rain hammering the roof and beers in our hands, we took stock.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s it feel compared to your MT-09?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s bigger at the front, but it\u2019s just like a bike. I didn\u2019t think it would be, but it is \u2013 it\u2019s hard to get your head around that. It\u2019s amazing around corners. The engine feels about the same. Maybe a little gruntier. I\u2019d need more time on it to be sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re drinking beer now,\u201d I said. \u201cYou need to learn about prioritising stuff during thunderstorms.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you buy one?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI still owe dad money for my bike. I\u2019m broke. And I need more tattoos.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFair call.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI tried to wheelie it,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn second?\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cShould have been in first,\u201d I smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cBloody rain,\u201d Harry observed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI love the rain,\u201d I said. \u201cI just love it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hate bloody kids, though.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In which our hero finds himself in the company of youth; vile, virile and feral. But also with eyes that plead. And our hero is many things, but he is not without some feeling and empathy for the feckless and unbearded. \u201cWe\u2019re in trouble all the time You read about us all in the papers [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1426358,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[67,106,352,103],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1439733"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1439733"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1439733\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1439797,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1439733\/revisions\/1439797"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1426358"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1439733"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1439733"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1439733"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}