{"id":1426344,"date":"2019-01-24T21:01:44","date_gmt":"2019-01-24T11:01:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bikeme.tv\/?p=1426344"},"modified":"2019-01-25T16:22:25","modified_gmt":"2019-01-25T06:22:25","slug":"tales-of-the-niken-episode-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/tales-of-the-niken-episode-5\/","title":{"rendered":"TALES OF THE NIKEN \u2013 EPISODE 5"},"content":{"rendered":"

In which our hero realises he\u2019s not been placed upon this earth to procreate with spiders, and if the Niken is to be taken seriously, it needs to be taken somewhere serious. With stuff tied to its back in the finest tradition of grand touring, no less.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cFirst you wind away your hours
\nIn your concrete towers
\nSoon you’ll be covered up in flowers
\nIn the back of a black limousine<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>Now wait a minute\u2026
\nLook around tell me what you see
\nWhat’s happening to you and me
\nGod grant me the serenity
\nTo just remember who I am\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"

Yamaha\u2019s bringing out a GT (Grand Touring) version in a few months. In the meantime, this will do just fine.<\/p><\/div>\n

It was the Dog Days of the Australian summer. That deeply indolent and inane period between Christmas and New Year when you feel you\u2019re marking time and waiting for it to pass, but at the same time hoping it won\u2019t.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s stupid hot. And the roads are mostly empty. People who\u2019ve gone somewhere for holidays are already there. The rest of us mainly drink, seek water, shade, and the company of like-minded people. Some of us, the more cussed and ornery, ride our motorcycles despite the vile police threats and double-points penalties.<\/p>\n

\"\"

If you pass them fast enough they wave at you with their middle finger. Bless.<\/p><\/div>\n

At this time of the year, the cops are thicker than boils in a Bandundu hospital and they\u2019re angry. They\u2019re angry because they have to work while the humanity they juice for money blunders drunkenly about in its mostly indifferent holiday stupor. They\u2019re angry because the only mates they have are all working as well. They\u2019re angry because some of us will still not do as we\u2019re told, and with the advent of Smartphones, it\u2019s harder for them to beat us with truncheons and get away with it without starring on YouTube.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go to my brother\u2019s property,\u201d Al said to me a few days after Christmas. \u201cHe has guns. And it\u2019s a Hell of a ride. I\u2019d be keen to see what this Niken can actually do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe only thing you\u2019ll see of the Niken, and that briefly, is the back-end disappearing in the distance,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

I had no way of knowing if this was true or not. Al gets along alright on his big V-Strom. He knows the roads to and from his brother\u2019s place at Pyramul very well. He rides them a lot. And many of them are dirt.
\nWhere\u2019s Pyramul? you ask. Well, if you were to draw a line from Sally\u2019s Flat to Windeyer, and then draw another line from Tambaroora to Carcalgong, the spot where those lines intersect is Pyramul. Yeah, even the Highway Patrol struggles up in them hills.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Yeah, I stole this photo of the Bylong Valley Way. Sorry.<\/p><\/div>\n

It was 38 degrees at nine in the morning when Al met me in Singleton, and that number was heading north. We, on the other hand, were heading a bit south of west.<\/p>\n

I had strapped my swag to the back of the Niken with consummate ease. It has a big grab-rail which takes to ocky straps well. I\u2019d considered adding a sheepskin to the seat, but in these modern times, such ancient touring stratagems might get me shot for livestock-hostility by policeman younger than many of my T-shirts. I was not prepared to risk it given their levels of holiday anger.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Stand in the shade when it’s hot. You know it makes sense.<\/p><\/div>\n

Besides, the Niken is not at all uncomfortable. But there are few bikes a man can ride for eight or nine hours without a touch of grim suffering. And when you go riding with Al, you will spend a lot of time in the saddle. He\u2019s like that. But I have been doing a lot of squats at the gym, so I felt my buttocks were en-meated enough to deal with a long day or two. Besides, the heat would dry my tears of pain, so Al would never know of my misery.<\/p>\n

Less than an hour after leaving Singleton, we were on the Bylong Valley Way and the temperature was nudging its way past 40.<\/p>\n

I decided to do the Bylong in spasms. On the bits where it\u2019s scenically spectacular I would sit on a Christian-like 120-130 and drink in the scenery. On the crazy twisty bits, I would ride almost as hard as I could and see how far behind I could leave Al \u2013 if at all.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Try not to hit these. They are heaps worse than Wire Rope barriers.<\/strong><\/p><\/div>\n

There\u2019s a lot of rocky grandeur along the Bylong Valley. What\u2019s not rocky is pretty green and lush, despite the drought. It\u2019s quite a special place. Former politician and now some lucky inmate\u2019s Lebo sex-toy, Eddie Obeid, is doing hard time for trying to turn it all into a coalmine.<\/p>\n

Less than a minute into our Bylong section, I felt Al and I would both be doing hard time if we were caught. My planned Christian speed soon devolved into a brutal 160-plus hammering of the Niken. The bitumen was iffy in places. It was either melting from the heat, or preparing to melt. If it wasn\u2019t turning into sludge, then there was the odd bit of gravel to keep you perky. This was what the Niken excelled at. I would rocket off, then I would slow down and wait for Al, rinse and repeat.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Them rocks are worse than Wire Rope Barriers too. Government should remove them all.<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

Not a Highway Patrol in sight.<\/p><\/div>\n

We got to the tight section together and I let him pass me. I then discovered something else about the Niken. I could carry so much more corner speed into the bends than Al could. Sure, my heart was in my mouth most of the time. I\u2019m normally rather cautious on crap surfaces in places where there\u2019s no mobile phone coverage. But the Niken held firm and sure. Al could punch his V-Strom a touch harder out of corners, but that mattered naught as the Niken quickly closed the small gap. There were times I might have attempted an outside pass, but we\u2019re mates. And I have less courage than I used to.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

Warren examines the most amazing thing he has ever seen.<\/p><\/div>\n

We lunched at Rylestone. Despite the heat, people still surrounded the Niken, staring.<\/p>\n

\u201cGoes alright then,\u201d one bloke stated, pointing at the furry edges of the Niken\u2019s rear tyre.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood enough,\u201d I allowed.<\/p>\n

More bitumen glory followed. The Ilford-Sofala racetrack saw the Niken dancing through the blast-furnace. It was now so hot, whatever cops might have been out that day were either baked hams or back at the station. We hit the Sofala-Hill End road with heat-seared faces and speed-thunder hearts. If you know that road, you know it\u2019s a challenge.<\/p>\n

\"\"

A man can get a good run along this kind of dirt.<\/p><\/div>\n

Then we turned off, and it was dirt. Once again, the Niken proved superb as an all-surface touring bike. The suspension is just next-level. This is one of the few things I\u2019ve ridden where I have not wondered how much better it would be with \u00d6hlins<\/em>. This is one of the best-suspended beasts on the market.<\/p>\n

It feels different on the dirt. Not weird different or scary different, just different. As you know, there is no grip per se<\/em> on dirt. Road-rubber just skates along relying on you to know what you\u2019re doing with the throttle. In the Niken\u2019s case, there\u2019s two front hoops just skating along relying on you. That\u2019s what you\u2019re feeling, I guess. But with the traction control off, you can be ever so more reliant. That MT-09 engine hands out torque like a priest hands out lollies. Bung it in fourth and just float and drift and\u2026well, you get the picture.<\/p>\n

\"\"

Distances not required. Just directions.<\/p><\/div>\n

We spent a warm and beery night at Al\u2019s brother\u2019s place. It\u2019s hard country up there. Things have to be forced to grow among the rocky scrabble. Other things have to be shot lest they undo all your good growing work. Beer has to be drunk because it assists in all such things.<\/p>\n

Ben\u2019s neighbour Warren came a-calling, rifle slung on his shoulder and murder in his heart for the feral pests that bedevilled his farm.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is amazing,\u201d he said staring at the Niken.<\/p>\n

\"\"

One of my many happy places.<\/p><\/div>\n

I long ago learned not to argue with heavily armed men.<\/p>\n

And there was no argument to be had. He was right.<\/p>\n

It was a good night.<\/p>\n

TALES OF THE NIKEN – EPISODE FOUR<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

TALES OF THE NIKEN – EPISODE THREE<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

TALES OF THE NIKEN – EPISODE TWO<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

TALES OF THE NIKEN – EPISODE ONE<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In which our hero realises he\u2019s not been placed upon this earth to procreate with spiders, and if the Niken is to be taken seriously, it needs to be taken somewhere serious. With stuff tied to its back in the finest tradition of grand touring, no less.   \u201cFirst you wind away your hours In [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1426358,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[219,352,9,103],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1426344"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1426344"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1426344\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1426693,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1426344\/revisions\/1426693"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1426358"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1426344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1426344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1426344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}