Dear Yellow Puta,<\/p>\n
I would have written earlier, but I was in too much pain from laughing so hard. All my intestinos had knotted themselves in pleasure. I could not make the kaka for three days!<\/p>\n
I laughed so hard the broken bone in my arm became stronger and stiffer, like the mating-tusks of a winged shark. I have blown up this picture and it hangs on my wall and I look it whenever I am not wearing any pants.<\/p>\n
I would have won that race if I had wanted to race and you would have crashed behind me and I wouldn\u2019t have seen it, which would have been disappointing.<\/p>\n
But I didn\u2019t race, because it was too hot in stupid Brown China and I knew that idiot Pirro would destroy my Ducati, and I wanted to see that because that is always funny too, like when the Criminal Redding steals Crutchlow\u2019s race boots and sells them for beer.<\/p>\n
But none of that is as funny as you making a crashing cucaracha out of yourself. SSSSSSSS-CHAH! It was so wonderful I would have hugged Gigi if he had not been busy putting paper towels on the floor to catch the defeated tears of my worthless team-mate when he failed yet again to even sniff a podium.<\/p>\n
Here you were, all out in front just like the good old days when you were a shinier and a less wrinkled yellow than you are today. I saw this and I knew straight away someone had put something in the pony-urine you drink each morning.<\/p>\n
And then, just as the Lesser Repsol was planning to overtake you and break your yellow puta heart again, your yellow puta heart exploded all by itself and\u2026SSSSSSSSS-CHAH!<\/p>\n
Have you noticed the sound of the Mamba Disenfrenado y Glorioso e Inmensamente Viril y Caliente is the same sound as when you are sliding down the track with your leathers all full of mierda which is being pushed around inside your ugly blue-and-yellow suit by the broken telemetries?<\/p>\n
It must take your step-mother, Fat Uccio, hours to mop it all out of there. Does he cry when he\u2019s doing it? Maybe he and the Sad-Eyed Puta could share a weeping bucket.<\/p>\n
When I saw it happen my joy was that of a mighty king-eagle on a mountain with a small horse in its beak.<\/p>\n
\u201cYAYAYAYAYAYA!\u201d I laughed and kicked Dovizioso\u2019s spare helmet all the way into the palm trees up on the hill. I think there are five of the dented salty things up there after all this time. Dirty palm-rats live in them now and all of them have more spirit than he does.<\/p>\n
I know someone sent you a nice message in my name after it happened, and when I find out who it is (I am looking at you, Davide), there will be another helmet kicked up into the palm tress for the rats to nest in.<\/p>\n
I would not have sent you a nice message. I would have sent: \u201cPut everybody\u2019s sweaty cojones into your big monkey mouth and make the gagging noise!\u201d or \u201cHow do you like the taste of Brown Chinese asphalt being force-fed into your culo?\u201d<\/p>\n
Anyway, I will see you in Valencia. Or maybe I will not see you at all from where I will be sitting on pole.<\/p>\n
Ciao,<\/p>\n
George.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Yellow Puta, I would have written earlier, but I was in too much pain from laughing so hard. All my intestinos had knotted themselves in pleasure. I could not make the kaka for three days! I laughed so hard the broken bone in my arm became stronger and stiffer, like the mating-tusks of a [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1402090,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[252],"tags":[253],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1402078"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1402078"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1402078\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1402106,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1402078\/revisions\/1402106"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1402090"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1402078"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1402078"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1402078"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}