\u201cCan someone explain the point of these Black Dog rides\u201d, Boris requested on Facebook. No-one could. Hilarity and stupid ensued.<\/p>\n
I called Gonzo. \u201cCome trail riding\u201d, I said. \u201cYou will be driving, for I have no licence. You will be taking our bikes, because you have a ute. I love you dearly.\u201d<\/p>\n
He couldn\u2019t refuse.<\/p>\n
We took 50mm thick beef cutlets, and beer, and whisky, and clay pigeons. We drove for over 250km in Gonzo\u2019s ute. We were welcomed like brothers.<\/p>\n
\u201cClay pigeons, eh?\u201d said Ben. \u201cI have lots of twelve gauge.\u201d And he gave us five boxes of twenty.<\/p>\n
They contained BBs. One usually shoots trap with birdshot. BBs are way heavier, and the gun kicks like a draught horse while it pushes all that lead out. Gonzo and I ended up with low trap scores, and lurid bruises on our shoulders. Fortunately, the Boags had a slight anaesthetic effect.<\/p>\n
\u201cNever mind\u201d, said Ben. \u201cArchery is where it\u2019s at.\u201d<\/p>\n
Half an hour later, Gonzo had lurid bruises on his left forearm as well. Those compound bows smack you hard.<\/p>\n
\u201cNever mind\u201d, said Ben. \u201cCome and I will show you the vacant block next door.\u201d<\/p>\n
We got on our motorcycles, and rode out on the dirt road out front to the next block. We didn\u2019t have helmets, and I didn\u2019t have a licence, but a couple of weeks before the gay Mardi Gras was on TV and a whole bunch of police watched some fat lesbians riding their motorcycles without helmets and didn\u2019t bother upholding the law, so I figured it was okay.<\/p>\n
Ben stopped after a while at the top of a rise. \u201cThe creek\u2019s down there\u201d, he said. \u201dYou won\u2019t get over that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCertainly not with that attitude\u201d, said Gonzo.<\/p>\n
Snap.<\/p>\n
It was good to be on a motorcycle again after such a long break.<\/p>\n
We went back and cooked and ate the steaks. There was shiraz. Then Gonzo opened his Glenlivet.<\/p>\n
We rose at a gentlemanly hour on the next day. Ben made us venison and eggs.\u00a0Gonzo and I\u00a0went back to all the un-hit clay pigeons on the ground, and shot them with .22s.<\/p>\n
Then we packed our kit and put the bikes on the ute, and left.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was good\u201d, said Gonzo on the way back.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood?\u201d I exclaimed. \u201cThat was terrific. Do you realise that I have a photo of you with a gun and a black dog?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy is that important?\u201d asked Gonzo.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause\u201d, I told him, \u201cIt will raise awareness.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Certainly not with that attitude\u201d, said Gonzo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":12084,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48],"tags":[221],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12083"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12083"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12083\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12086,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12083\/revisions\/12086"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12084"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12083"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12083"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12083"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}