{"id":10007,"date":"2014-08-04T07:39:04","date_gmt":"2014-08-03T21:39:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bikeme.tv\/?p=10007"},"modified":"2014-08-04T09:21:17","modified_gmt":"2014-08-03T23:21:17","slug":"police-side-road","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/police-side-road\/","title":{"rendered":"YOU, THE POLICE, AND THE SIDE OF THE ROAD"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have read, with my usual enlightened disdain, recent articles purporting to offer advice to motorcycles who have been pulled over by the cops.<\/p>\n

Without exception, these dreary pieces are written, rather poorly, by tea-sipping mouse-hearts whose experience with the police is somewhat limited.<\/p>\n

My experience with the police, by contrast, is vast. It arcs over the preceding four decades and involves everything (Crimes Act stuff aside) from High-Range DUIs to several Speed Dangerous charges and more low-range speeding and traffic offences than I can count. Magistrates normally just flick through the first four or five pages of my two-inch-thick riding record when I am standing before them, absorb the horror therein with their usual detached insouciance and listen patiently to my lawyer as he tries to mitigate the current problem. Then the raping starts.<\/p>\n

So the unsolicited advice I will now proffer is based upon this experience.<\/p>\n

You may, of course, discount it.<\/p>\n

That is entirely a matter for you. I only offer it because I love you and I want you to be happy, and because I know what capsicum spray tastes like, what Tasering feels like and just how hard a police dog can bite that meaty part of your thigh when its handler gives its lead a bit of slack.<\/p>\n

So there you are, pulled up on the side of the road. Blue-and-red lights fill your world, you\u2019re taking your helmet off and fumbling your wallet out of your pocket. The police officer gets out of his car and away you go\u2026<\/p>\n

The Attitude Test<\/h5>\n

First thing\u2019s first, chief. And the first thing you have to pass is the Attitude Test. Be polite. It costs you nothing. If you arc up and start being a smart-arse, it\u2019s a zero-sum game.<\/p>\n

\"la-0329-pin03\"

Try to avoid this situation. You will come second.<\/p><\/div>\n

Road-side debate<\/h5>\n

The time to argue is in court. The side of the road is not the place to put forward your empty legal arguments or any mitigating circumstances you might feel the police officer needs to be made aware of. He doesn\u2019t care. He does not have to prove you committed the offense you\u2019re being booked for. You, ultimately, and in court, will have to prove you didn\u2019t commit it. That\u2019s how the Motor Traffic Act works. It\u2019s different to the Crimes Act, where the onus of proof resides with the State. You don\u2019t have to like this. You just have to understand it. Save your facile, pointless excuses for the magistrate. He\u2019s paid to listen. The police officer is not.<\/p>\n

\"397731-police-strike-team\"

The police don’t have a debating team. They are not skilled in this area.<\/p><\/div>\n

General Duties versus Highway Patrol<\/h5>\n

On the balance of probabilities, you are more likely to escape a ticket if the general duties blokes stop you than if the Highway Patrol hawks nab you. That is why they are the Highway Patrol. It\u2019s what they do. And no, they don\u2019t have anything better to do with their time like catch child molestors, rapists and murderers. That\u2019s what detectives do. The Highway Patrol patrols the highways. They will tell you it is to keep people safe and save lives, and I have no doubt that some of the more steely-eyed ones actually believe this to be the case. The fact remains is that there is a quota, and they will and do meet these quotas because there are budgetary considerations to bear in mind. It costs money to punt a big V8 around the place, you know. Your money.<\/p>\n

\"Highway

The writing on the side is usually a dead giveaway.<\/p><\/div>\n

\"NSW_Police_general_duties_vehicle_in_the_SunRice_Festival_parade_in_Pine_Ave\"

Less fat tyres and hatred.<\/p><\/div>\n

Shut your stupid mouth<\/h5>\n

Volunteer no information. Do not enter into a conversation with the officer. You do not have to answer any questions. And they include: \u201cIs there a reason you were doing 89 in a 60 zone?\u201d Fundamentally, there is no reason you can offer that the policeman is going to give much of a shit about. And if you seek to offer a reason, all you\u2019re doing is admitting the offense.<\/p>\n

Yes, people get all nervous and twitchy when they\u2019re pulled over \u2013 especially if it\u2019s a rare occurrence and you\u2019re new to the whole experience. You tend to be more blas\u00e9 about things if you\u2019re aware of your rights and you\u2019ve been pulled over 639 times before. But when you\u2019re nervous, you tend to chatterbox a bit. It\u2019s human nature. But make an effort. Shut up. Seriously.<\/p>\n

By law, you are required to provide your name and address. That\u2019s it. You do not have to tell him where you were going. You do not have to tell him where you were coming from. You do not have to admit that you know the other rider or riders. You do not have to consent to a search. The officer must have probable cause to search you or your bike, and he should state what that is. Certainly, you cannot stop him searching, but you must state over and over that you do not consent to the search.<\/p>\n

\"man

Try and refrain from this even if you’re recording your diatribe.<\/p><\/div>\n

Yes, you can record what\u2019s going on with your Smartphone<\/h5>\n

There is no law against it. He is, after all, recording you on his car camera, which he\u2019ll probably tell you he\u2019s doing, and which goes on automatically when his disco lights go on. Police discretion? Yeah, once upon a time it was exercised on rare occasions. These days, with their actions being recorded by the in-car camera, not so much.<\/p>\n

\"smartphones1\"

Yes, they can all do what you need doing. There’s even an App you can get that will automatically post what you’ve recorded to Facebook if your phone happens to be…um, damaged.<\/p><\/div>\n

You were not stopped for nothing<\/h5>\n

If the police have pulled you over, it is because a) You were breaking the law; or b) They want to have a closer look at you and your bike. Loud pipes, fender eliminators and sexy racing leathers, or faux-outlaw vests and skull bandanas are going to attract their attention. Don\u2019t be silly. Surely you know that. Yes, they can state it is a license check or a Random Breath Test, but they really just want to look at you. That\u2019s where the Attitude Test plays a part.<\/p>\n

\"unnamed\"

No speeding involved. Not even a little bit.<\/p><\/div>\n

The police are all different<\/h5>\n

Yes, there are massive mouth-breathing drop-kicks in their ranks. But there are also polite and efficient professionals. Most of them lie somewhere between these two extremes. Just remember that they know the law far better than most of us do, they are not your friends, and they are not making casual conversation with you. If there is a debate with you on the side of the road, it is guaranteed the officer will be making contemporaneous notes of your conversation when he gets back into his car. What will you do? Ride off and bitch to your mates at the next servo, pub or coffee shop, right? What you should do, if you plan on fighting the fine in court, is to make your own notes of what transpired immediately. Just like the police man is doing. And there\u2019s no need to write a novel. Facts, times and a simple \u201cHe said\u201d \u201cI said\u201d account is all you need.<\/p>\n

\"police-dog-attack-denmark\"

Do not pat the police dogs.<\/p><\/div>\n

Important things to keep in mind<\/h5>\n

This not America. There is no Bill of Rights. You are not a lawyer. It doesn\u2019t matter if the policeman puts the wrong date on the ticket or misspells your name. Do not argue. Do not be rude. Do not be a smart-arse. Being truncheoned in the legs is better than being truncheoned in the kidneys or the face. Do not try and pat the police dog.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have read, with my usual enlightened disdain, recent articles purporting to offer advice to motorcycles who have been pulled over by the cops. Without exception, these dreary pieces are written, rather poorly, by tea-sipping mouse-hearts whose experience with the police is somewhat limited. My experience with the police, by contrast, is vast. It arcs [&hellip<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":10016,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[67,24],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10007"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10007"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10007\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10033,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10007\/revisions\/10033"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10016"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10007"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bikeme.tv\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}