BMW S1000RR - IT'S ALL TRUE

by Boris

I came back from Phillip Island a broken man – physically and emotionally.

Many of the truths I had long held to be self-evident turned out to be nothing more than utterly insane misconceptions.

One of these self-evident truths was that having done a million laps of Eastern Creek, I would easily slip into the groove of the Island and bang out some sick laps.

The other was that BMW was about as likely to build a proper world-class superbike as the Armenian People’s Tractor Factory.

After all, everyone knows that building kick-arse superbikes is the exclusive province of the Italians and the Japanese. The Germans have always tended to cater for either the insane adventure rider, or the genteel gentleman tourer. And while they have recently made some rather exciting forays into other areas of motorcycling with their incredible 450cc enduro bike and a brace of big-dollar, up-spec HP-tagged boxer twins, the chances of a real fire-breathing four-cylinder superbike rolling out of Bavaria seemed remote.

Reports of the S1000RR started to filter into the motorcycle media many months ago. Crazy horsepower figures were bandied about, along with even crazier weight numbers. No-one actually believed them, least of all me.

And then reports began to arrive from people who had actually ridden the S1000RR. AMCN’s Matty Shields, who went to the world launch, was unequivocal.

“This is the best bike I have ever ridden,” he proclaimed.

“Bullshit,” I laughed.

“Just wait until you ride it.”

I told him I would not hold my breath against the advent of that occurrence and went back to living in the real world.

Kevin “The Horsham Hurricane” Magee

A few months went by and a most unexpected invitation arrived in my inbox. Apparently, BMW Australia would be overjoyed to have me squire the S1000RR around the Phillip Island racetrack for an entire day.

I can assure you that BMW’s joy was as nothing compared to mine as I boarded the plane and jetted south – it was about as close to sunshine, rainbows and lollipops that I’m ever likely to get in this life.

My travelling companions were Alex Gobert, Rennie Scaysbrook and Kevin “The Horsham Hurricane” Magee. Except that The Hurricane had failed to make the plane and was not with us when we landed in Melbournistan and boarded the bus to BMW headquarters for lunch and a presentation. “Us” now included a bunch of New Zealand A-graders masquerading as journos, a three-metre tall bloke called Stuart from Australian Roadrider, MCN’s Trevor Hedge, Guy Allen, a few other blokes whose names invariably escape me, and two aliens called Mark Willis and Steve Martin.

I suddenly had no idea what I was doing there.

And that would not be the first time that would happen in the course of the two days.

During the presentation, I was given to understand that Steve Martin (who was the development rider for the RR and a World Endurance Champion in his spare time) and Mark Willis, (whose profile you can find elsewhere) would be “leading us around” the track, a fact I found both profoundly disturbing and ridiculously amusing.

Part of knowing how fast you can ride is knowing how fast you cannot ride.

And I know perfectly well how fast I cannot ride.

The only way I would be able to keep up with Willis or Martin was if they were to drag me behind their bikes on a rope.

But that was something I would have more time to consider the following day. At that moment, I was inside BMW HQ and trying to absorb the amazing information being imparted to us by Sep, the S1000RR’s criminally fast Swiss Project Manager.

I was so impressed, I even took notes – and I never take notes.

Steve Martin, Project manager Sep and Miles Davis espouse the brilliance before them

Here is what I jotted down…

1. During the European launch in Portimao in Portugal, 160 journos rode the S1000RR around the racetrack in the pouring rain. None of them crashed. Find out if Sep is bullshitting, since this seems impossible.

2. The S1000RR will stop eight metres shorter than a Fireblade from 200km/h. Sep appears serious.

3. You are able to turn both the ABS and the Dynamic Traction Control (DTC) off and on while on the move. This is a first for BMW. Sep is pleased about this.

4. The camshaft followers weigh 11gm. In contrast to the camshaft followers on a Japanese four that weight 24gm. This is a cumulative saving of 224gm. This tells me that BMW have gone to insane lengths to save weight on the bike. Sep confirms the weight resolution is serious.

5. The bike has been repeatedly timed at 9.9sec over the standing quarter mile. It will accelerate to 292km/h in one km. It takes the bike 6.8sec to accelerate to 200km/h. Sep is really pleased about this.

6. The engine weighs 59.8kg. Sep seems indifferent to this, but the rest of us are impressed.

7. The project has taken four years to complete and more than 1,000,000km have been ridden during the development phase. Sep appears pleased this journey is over.

8. Service intervals are 10,000km and valve clearances are done at 30,000km. Sep agrees that this is cool.

9. There will be a full Akrapovic race system available in a few months that will save 6kg off the existing 12kg stock exhaust and add a further 5-7bhp to the bike’s power. Sep gently tells us that while he feels that no-one actually needs any more horsepower, a few more is nice.

10. The S1000RR is lighter and more powerful than any other production 1000. It’s the lightest ABS-equipped sportsbike on earth. It weighs 206.5kg with a full tank of juice, has a staggering power-to-weight ratio of 1.06kg, produces 142kW (193bhp) at the crank at 13,900rpm (redline is 14,200rpm) and makes 112Nm of torque at 9750rpm. Sep smiles like a Cheshire cat.

11. What the bastard hell am I doing here? Sep has no idea either.

Behold its slipper clutch (the round thing)

That is not a winged keel protruding from the engine. It is the sump.

With such a plethora of technical information bubbling in my head, we once again boarded our minibus and headed for the Silverwater Resort at Phillip Island.